Attempts to resolve the Quandary:
4
Cynthia's Halloween costume revealed her as an ignoramus in the field of Japanese cosmetics -- she had completely ignored the nuchal makeup that is considered so important in her chosen tradition -- but when I informed her of the omission (speaking through my pastinaceous mask), she hoity-toitily dismissed my criticism, claiming that a true geisha would never deign to communicate with a parsnip. (by Rudi)
3
"Madam, you may have flaunted your superiority over such an ignoramus as I for having presumed to serve you boiled parsnips, but your hoity-toity attitude has earned you your just dessert - this meat cleaver which I am about to slide, slowly but effectively, across your nuchal crest." (by tree)
2
He was a complete ignoramus armed with a bucketful of words culled like parsnips from the hard ground of a parochial education, vomitiously spread across the page and paraded like a child’s fecal display, criminally compounded by a hoity-toity social incompetence brilliantly expressed by the large nuchal boil that festered and oozed as he pranced and preened. (by gumo420)
1
Loth to appear o'ersoon at the Red Mill (kick-off was not until eight o' the clock), and availing ourselves of the rare opportunity for a leisurely interdigitated crepuscular stroll past the brave
demimondegreenaines who - so Holmes instructed me - kept the streets blessedly free of vice and depravity; and having cunningly disguised ourselves as two fictive English chums in search of a good lay, the ace sleuth suddenly drew me to one side (in a becoming silverpoint three-quarter profile) and libidinously remarked 'Look - lay - fully bare - share?', to which I stuffily riposted 'I'm a married man, Holmes, she's all yours', and to which he impatiently snarled 'No, you ignoramus, Les Folies Bergère', at that very moment fortuitously espying a crumpled Annie Oakley lodged in the vertiginously crevassed décolletage of a festering, toothless, madame who, in return for relieving her of a few jaundiced parsnips from a decaying tumbril, grudgingly yielded up the aforesaid billet, which bore only the curious motto 'M+1' . . . at which Holmes immediately declared, as was his wont, 'a low trick, and we must attempt la recherche du temps perdu,' clearly divining in a trice that not Lautrec, Toulouse but Mucha, Alphonse had earlier been intended by the devious Moriarty, and that the singular alphabetic additive could mean only 'Nucha' - on concluding which astounding deduction, Holmes pontificated, as he strode purposefully across the Pont du Change: 'This colubrine exposition, growing ever more Proustian, Watson, demands timous surcease, and we must accordingly, if a trifle nostalgically, put a reluctant stop to it; but not before I ingest (being, as you must know by now, a cunning linguist) this tasty "petite madelaine", moulded in the hoity-toity flutey-wootey scallopy-wallopy of a pilgrim's shell'; and on taking it oh so delicately between his comely lips he was given to communicate, unrestrainedly bespawling me: 'Moriarty, you see, is telegraphing that he has me by the scruff of the neck, but' - and here he choked and would have surely expired in my close embrace had I not speedily rumbled him. (by Bud Myte)
5
After Evelyn had extracted the letter opener from Mr. Blankfein's skull, deftly avoiding nicking his nucha on the way out, she left the office, now delightfully empty of its usual complement of hoity-toity ignoramuses (the sort who despised her for carrying the wrong brand of handbag yet couldn't pronounce "Vuitton" correctly if their boring little lives depended on it), and went home to a nice dinner of roast beef, accompanied by pureed parsnips with nutmeg. (by cusheamus)