After testifying in front of the school board that there was no reason to buy new textbooks for the high school because today’s youth rely on the internet and digital media for their information and education, Madison was freaked out that her nervous borborygmus, which was so loud one didn’t need a stethoscope to auscultate the sounds coming from her gut, would give away her presence in the library, where she was sitting in the corner reading a dead tree edition of a book she had reviewed online – something which was happening more and more often since she had become involved in the instauration of the historic building as part of her student community service project.

I was sitting in the library, leafing through the dead tree edition of Environmental Preservation News and contemplating an instauration of my lapsed subscription, when the gallon of hummingbird chili I'd consumed the previous evening reminded me of its existence by means of an enormous borborygmus, which went rumbling through my innards like a beleaguered steamboat; and everyone--I mean everyone, including the deaf guy--turned toward me with looks of alarmed disgust on their faces (one dude e'en suggested I have a doctor auscultate the problem, and since I had no idea what that word meant I stuck my tongue out at him; later I followed him home and egged his house).

As I was being auscultated by the couple of  doctors at my hospital bed, my most worried younger sister rushed in, holding a bulky dead tree edition pertaining to gall bladder ‘symptoms, causes, prevention and treatment’,  asking me to read all the contents urgently as if running my eye through them was the only instauration available; she had no idea how uncomfortable I felt with a fit of borborygmus inside me that made me turn a deaf ear towards her recital.