Dr. Solomon Hamdouchi-McCleod, Professor of Geodesic Studies at Gilda Radner University in Weemowee, Wisconsin and author of twenty-seven books (including the celebrated linguistic pandect From Mumpsimus to Sumpsimus and E'erything In-Between: A Complete Idiot's Guide to Gooder Use of the Language), had reached the point in his talk where he was beginning to monologize; so, realizing we were on the verge of losing half our audience, I quickly flicked a pear at him (my intention in doing this was to gently "nudge" him, but I threw a little too hard, and the piece of fruit smacked squarely into the professor's  face, sending him toppling backward off his desk with a cry).

Perhaps it was ironic that by day, she administered tests at the Department of Motor Vehicles, citing policy, code and long passages from the pandect of municipal law,  having fooled herself into thinking her rigid little brain was a geodesic wonderland (even though it was filled with only pedantic minutia) and thus she felt it was her place each night, to spew long-winded monologies, full of unimportant sumpsimus and unhinged ideas upon a culturally parched audience of one; herself.

Professor Ima K. Rackpott, the man who wrote the pandect on correct use of words with respect to the geodynamic phenomena of the earth, was putting everyone else to sleep during a Q&A session at the annual Geologic Society Terminology Meeting, with a long-winded monology asking why he was being faulted for sumpsimus in the field of geodesy when precise definition of terms was at the heart of the discipline.