"The elusive Higgs boson," wrote Professor McFatridge in his controversial tractate *Subatomic Particles & Peanutty Goodness: A Lesbian Perspective (With an Epigraph by Dudley Moore)*, "may be likened to that one hard-to-find goober in the bottom of the box: you know it's there, quantum physics says it's there, but you just can't *find* the friggin' thing." (by saintdufus)

 

Wilbur was sitting in the shade and snacking on some boiled goobers while he reviewed the most recent rubbings from the stone inscriptions at the Mayan diggings, which he was translating for his next tractate on the epigraphy found at a site recently cleared of jungle growth, but he nearly dropped the sack from his hand when realized that the complex material he was deciphering appeared to be a discussion of theoretical physics and included the description of a small particle very much like the Higgs boson.

 

(by wordgirl)

It was much tinier than a goober, but when the Higgs boson particle was discovered, physicists all over the world celebrated the advent of a new era as if a new tractate had been handed down from the heavens, and despite the fact that the particle had allegedly been there since the beginning of time, more ancient even than all epigraphy.

(by Sami)