Arthur’s father was really angry this time (after narrowly escaping a shot to his backside – saints be praised, he was wearing a kilt today) and shrieked at him, “You wiseacre, get in here chop-chop, ‘cause I said I’d support you when you decided to hew to your dream of being an Olympic archer, but the next Olympiad is nearly four years from now, so stop setting up targets all over the house and haul all of that stuff outside before you kill someone!”

"Chop-chop, or we'll miss the Olympiad!" cried Vlastimil brightly, clapping his rubicund hands together and milling swiftly about the room with an almost hovercraftian gait (you have to understand that the man's feet moved so rapidly, their motion was a literal blur: a faster-than-the-eye rotary whirl, redolent of some swine-encumbered cartoon burro; and this superhuman ability enabled Vlastimil to sort of "glide" from one place to another in an astonishingly smooth and fluid manner, like a hummingbird deftly flitting between flowers); now, leave it to a wiseacre like Magic Package Lenny to crassly point out to the ebullient Czech that the word Olympiad referred, not to the Games themselves (as Vlastimil clearly thought), but rather to the quadrennial between them--for Magic Package Lenny always hewed to the letter of the linguistic law, ne'er missing an opportunity to pounce on some grammatical faux pas (be it e'er so mundane) and mercilessly sock it to the offending soul: and 'twas for this very reason that we eventually poured Crazy Glue on Magic Package Lenny's tuchus and fastened the obnoxious magician ass-first to the underside of the 59th Street Bridge (where, if I'm not mistaken, he hangs to this day).

In order to broaden the Games’ appeal to a more cerebral, less physical audience, a new ‘sport’ is to be introduced at the 2016 Olympiad, in which wiseacre competitors purposely neglect to hew the centuries-old Olympic tradition of gentlemanly sportsmanship and sit around smoking cigarettes, eating bad food and making chop-chop wisecracks on the performance of swimmers, gymnasts and other athletes, with the gold medal awarded to the one who speaks the wittiest and cleverest bon mot.