Concomitant with the birth of Spork Costeau was an unusual bird omen, wherein a newly-hatched duckling belched, excused itself, and then died aborning; and the haunting nature of this sign stayed with Spork well into his diaperhood, and all through the happy years when soothing demulcents were being applied to his chubby tuchus on a daily basis by smiling ladies with Rubenesque bosoms; and those were the best years of Spork's life.

 

(by saintdufus)

Concomitant with my diaperhood, a third child was aborning, and all too soon there were eight of us and our mother would be feeling no pain with the demulcent effects of swallowing down yet another Bloody Mary (made with V-8 for 100% of her daily vitamin requirement) before 10 a.m. (by wordgirl)

Perhaps if I had not been ill that day and suffering all the concomitant crankiness, or if I had found a decent demulcent at the pharmacy instead of the overpriced placebo I took, I would not have sneezed so hastily in response to her every utterance, and our romance would have then entered its diaperhood; at least, it would not have died aborning.

(by Rudi)