Impawned my dignity as it was, in front of all those women, I pleaded for the strength to avoid wry faces as I was about to submerge in the vaporous waters of the most insane balneology experiment I had ever seen when, deus ex machina, a rather skinny lady fainted and I volunteered and carried her to the infirmary. (by PaideiaSofista)

One thousand years my soul impawned to the Master of Deceit, in this my final hour I make my final request, an odd request, done at the behest the self-styled Master of Balneology, to whom I confessed my deepest regrets, and, as lie in the sea, John, my new Master smiles his wry smile and says ”you are baptized, go and sin no more”, and as I die, deus ex machina, I am reborn into the light, hearing as I go my former Master, who does not like to lose a soul, torment the unrepented, their flesh torn and severed on his horns, blistered by his fires and made pestulent by his very touch; I am redeemed, Happy Easter.

(by fdrisc)

In a classic case of deus ex machina, mere minutes before I was about to impawn my car to pay for bath salts and spa time for my balneology certification, my mother walked up and, with a wry smile, handed me $4,000 that her great-uncle, who had just died in a freak bathing accident, had left me. (by jtothep)

Finding me, on his by now daily visit,  in no more dire predicament than that of a case of sore muscles consequent to the grain bin incident, my deus ex machina decided to whisk me over the seas to the thermal springs of Iceland for a lesson in balneology, for which I surely must have impawned my high school ring had I been obliged to pay my own air fare. (by Gravely)