Quadrivial Quandary:  Logophiles, Rejoice!  Each day we give you four unusual words.  Can you fit them all in one illustrative sentence?

Attempts to resolve the Quandary:

1

So when Angie – stage name 'Angel Blue' - tottered into the 'dressing room' (everything about the place and the business was surrounded by quotes) and chucked her knickers into the 'laundry' bin, before fishing a 'fresh' pair from the 'laundered' box, her pal Chris – 'Chastity' – slung her a pack of fags and the shared lighter; “am fed up, hen.” said Angie, easing her feet out of the platform shoes, “see these heels, they're fair killin' me but, huv ye tried 'um?” and she took a swig from the bottle of Irn Bru and Chris replied: “naw, they're nae ma size,” and Angie laughed, “they're nae mine neither, so they're no, bit whit can ye dae when ye're a size six an aw the heels is fower or five? ah cannae gaun oan barefit!” and that was when Deirdre – 'Desiree' – who was a rather puffy lass, older than the others, who thought her a blet, way past her sell-by date, chipped in: “try nae tae pull yer taes in, jist lettum stick oot the front, that's why they're oapin, so yer taes can stick oot but,” and Angie snorted, “noo hoo did ah no fink o that yin masel? is it cos ye fink am a numpty goy fae Danderha'?” but Deirdre just laughed, so Angie continued: “ah dinnae dae that cos they're no wafflestompers, fer crissakes, they're slingbacks an if ah dinnae squeeze ma taes, they'd be hangin doon an mebbe fly aff when ah dae a spin oan the pole an mebbe hit a punter on the heid an then whaur'd ah be? sued by a wanker wi a stiletto stuck in his napper?” which was when Deirdre suddenly became very serious and held Angie's wrist, “dinnae say that, dinnae let Malky hear ye say'n sumpn like that, he can be rite ruff, pet, so jist dinnae dae that, please, fer yer ain sake,” but Angie was curious: “hoo nae? whit fur?” but Deirdre’s face was white as a sheet: “goanie no, fur crissakes, it's dangerous, hen, so jist goanie no!” and out in the bar, Sam followed Pan's gaze, towards the man behind the counter, whose presence had seemed to galvanize Pan: “Malky?” and Pan nodded, “I thought he was banged up, life wasn't it? what's he doing out?” and Sam took another sip before replying: “he's our link to The Ring of Gold – he's one of their procurers, the place is monitored – you won't spot the cameras, they're very well hidden – and he thinks he got out on a technicality, we had to reciprocate for the Fiscal to agree, he's not a very nice fellow, but he's more useful out than in; but the thing is, Pan, the big thing is this: following some of the DNA stuff Carolina Moonbeam – she's the new Professor of Forensic Science at Heriot-Watt – did with the escapees from that Cavern, we got her to look at the evidence from your ancestor's murder, him and his servant Doubleday, I know it's something you've distanced yourself from, but it is important; well, the stuff was found quite a long time ago, I think it was Walter Scott, after he found the Crown Jewels at the Castle, he was poking around in the Abbey and managed to trace a box – it's been stored in the Commendator's House for years now – so we were able to give it to Professor Moonbeam and she found traces of Tavish Dalwhinnie – it's okay to look shocked, I was too, but she feels it would be enough to secure a conviction, not that there will be a prosecution, but if Tavish is, was, I'm a bit unsure of the tenses in this case, somehow alive and well in the 13th Century, I'm not insane, I can assure you, dear old friend, and possibly accompanied by the Westwater and Shanter girls, we don't know anything about them, but if that's true, or even possible, we have to assume that he will be still there,” and he looked Pan in the eye, and his old friend responded with a tight smile: “the murder was unsolved, no-one caught, but I recall that there was a Hue and Cry which pursued an older man with his daughters, but got no-where, there was a note by the Abbot to the effect that a statement he had received from the Almoner, Brother Bede, was confused and misleading, it seems that it sent the pursuers in the wrong direction and by the time they realised that, the trail was cold, but it led him to believe that Bede was shielding the three suspects, but that meant nothing and the Abbot seems not to have shared that with the authorities – such as there were back then, which means precious little: it was quite a cause celebre at the time, but with no-one apprehended it got forgotten: and when his wife gave birth to my ancestor Postumus MacFarlane seven months later, we at last began to re-establish ourselves as a family of worth, not just riches and a reputation for debauchery that would have given de Sade a run for his money; but you say The Ring is still around?” and Sam nodded, adding that if Pan cared to stick around, he would introduce him to a couple of young Officers who were working undercover, if the term was appropriate, as Strippers, Pole and even Lap Dancers; Tavish's eyes rolled at this, but he managed to keep a straight face at the news that some new practices were in operation, which would never have been countenanced in his day, it had been some years since he last worked and even if this was not going to be an 'official' role that Sam had in mind for him, it would be a change from his present life in which his only real exercise was the Scotsman Crossword which he solved every morning at the Golf Club!

(by MissTeriWoman)
The Quandary for Friday, April 15, 2016 consisted of: Challenge: use all four words together in one illustrative sentence.

Since September 2009, word lovers have offered 7146 sentences — each one a surprise — to QQ's unique and growing library. Explore other Quandaries through our word list or the calendar below. View yesterday's QQ resolutions or pick a day at random.

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