Quadrivial Quandary:  Logophiles, Rejoice!  Each day we give you four unusual words.  Can you fit them all in one illustrative sentence?

Attempts to resolve the Quandary:

1

And so it was that the little party found themselves ensconced in a sheltered cottage – restored and much improved since it had been a humble shepherd's home – on a well-wooded estate, on the Eastern slopes of The Eildon Hills, where they had hidden the van from sight in an old barn, and settled themselves on the comfortable chairs and sofas of the main living room, made sepia by the drawn curtains in case of wandering eyes; introductions were made, because they did not all know each other: there was Sir Parlane MacFarlane, apparently restored to life some eight centuries since his unexplained death in the stables of Melrose Abbey, and with him, His Manne, Dominic Doubleday, believed to have been slain beside him; and here too was Duncan Doubleday, Deputy Chief Constable of Police Scotland, with responsibility for the South of Scotland, rather flabbergasted (I think that is the best word to express his astonishment at meeting his ancestor – or at least the man whose name he bore, it having been common practice that Doubledays never had sexual relations with their wives, preferring much younger girls and boys, before they were marred by puberty, and left their wives to the attentions of whichever descendant of Sir Parlane was their Master at the time; and also disgorged by The Cavern and then rescued from Hill House, George Gill, who, along with Duncan, was a 21st Century member of The Golden Ring; these last two seeming only to have lost a few weeks of their lives before Doubleday, roused by a clamour in the darkest recesses, had found a box of hand-grenades and other ordnance stored close by and, still groggy, had accidentally pulled a pin and then just barely reached safety when it sounded as if the entire mountain had been blown up, the noise revived his fellow sleepers and they had managed to escape by following an air-shaft to the outside; now the other modern members of The Golden Ring who were present – Larry 'Knickers' Lauderdale and his 'wife' Christiane, and Larry's cousin Barry 'Caber' Lauderdale (his nickname being an acknowledgement of the size and hardness of his erect penis) - were delighted to make the acquaintance of two of the Founding Members: and to so unexpectedly, impossibly, find themselves in the company of Sir Parlane MacFarlane and Dominic Doubleday, of whom they had heard so much, humbled them, and provoked many questions about the strange cave system inside the hills: how did it work, and who was behind it? when MacFarlane learned that Thomas Learmonth had also spent a considerable time there but was now alive and well and, apparently, under police protection, he became incensed, cursing and blaming an Abbot from the 13th century that none of the others had even heard of; which was when Christiane – nudged by Knickers Lauderdale, squeezed in beside him on the sofa and, reaching between his legs, began stroking and squeezing him, and then suggested that she might distract him from his concerns – MacFarlane seemed at first reluctant, but on thinking back to the recent frustrating events at the party in Ochan'toshan's Hill House, when – after an 800 year abstinence – he had been hauled away like a common thief or footpad from the young girl he was just about to enter, decided that “yes, I do need a receptacle for my seed, and though you are not an entire woman, nevertheless, you are pretty and freely offering your jorum to me in qua dilecta and I have never been so foolish or churlish as to refuse such an offer – shall we do it here, in good company, or privately, in one of the bed-chambers?” and on hearing this, the others pressed him to let them watch and then, when he was spent, they could take their turns, and realising that this would break some of the tension which was palpable in the room, and unite them, as The Golden Ring Full Circle, he told Christiane to spread a mat on the floor and make ready for boarders, and suggested that if Caber cared to bank up the fire, the party might enjoy Spit-roasting Christiane Churrasco, in celebration of their Liberation from the Dark Forces of Laura Norder, which was when a telephone began to ring!

(by MissTeriWoman)
The Quandary for Friday, July 01, 2016 consisted of: Challenge: use all four words together in one illustrative sentence.

Since September 2009, word lovers have offered 7145 sentences — each one a surprise — to QQ's unique and growing library. Explore other Quandaries through our word list or the calendar below. View yesterday's QQ resolutions or pick a day at random.

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