Quadrivial Quandary:  Logophiles, Rejoice!  Each day we give you four unusual words.  Can you fit them all in one illustrative sentence?

Attempts to resolve the Quandary:

2

My most interesting relative was probably Aunt Eloise, the rover of the family: the bucolic pleasures of country life were not for her, for she was as bored with rolling rural landscapes as she was exasperated by the roiling anthill of city life, so she got herself a job in international sales and—finding what her critical siblings thought quite jammy success and enjoying the work—she spent the next forty years sending the family postcards from assorted exotic climes, as well as photographs of herself skiing in the Andes and dining at an oont ranch in Australia (I’ve never cared for camel meat myself), and on the occasional visit giving us strange charms and talismans, such as Greek Evil Eye beads, Japanese Omamori, and once a monkey’s paw that we were all afraid to go near for fear we would accidentally wish for something; finally Cousin Gaspard buried it in the woods above the lower forty. 

(by TheMagicalExplodingUnicorns)

1

Against everything he believed in and stood for and held as self-evident truths - not that the list was very long - Dewey Trumpet-Trousers found himself rising from his seat and beckoning to MacFarlane to accompany him: "come with me, Sir P, and meet my Pa - you might not recognise him, he's changed since the Old Days, if you'll forgive the expression, but, you know, it's fifty long years since that little incident in the basement of the Doll's House, and I know that must seem strange to you, but . . . . ." and at the elevator door, the Scotchman put a restraining hand on the POTUS's sleeve: "whit dae ye mean 'fifty lang yeer'n'? it wis jist a wee whiley ago, jist afore yer strang-airm chiels cam an seized us, ye'r daen ma heid in wi aw this gobbledy-gook! am urny as bucolic as am cabbage lookin, ye ken!" and Dewey pushed the button for the 13th Floor, the one no-one else ever got out at, and tried his best to explain, which was difficult, because he didn't have the faintest idea of what was going on, so simply parroted his Pa's words: "sometimes the Good Lord chooses to work in mysterious ways, beautiful and unexpected ways, but that's just because he can, he can and he does and we don't have to understand them, just accept them for what they are," all the while squeezing and fondling his personal talisman, a rabbit's foot he kept in his trouser pocket, until it attracted the Scotchman's attention and he began to smirk and snorted: "aye, ye'r yer faither's son a' richt, thon's the kind o claptrap he keeps bleatin oan aboot - an he pleys bools in his britches pooch an aw - jist cos he's nae fuckin idea whit the idea is, bit ah ken ther's sumdy ahent aw this an if ah fine 'im ah'll cut aff his cock an baws an force 'im tae eat them, an then . . . . ." the elevator doors opened and Dewey led the way into the ITU where Sir Parlane was astonished to see something he could never have imagined, far less described; what looked like a bundle of intestines was suspended in fluid in a kind of big glass jar, with different coloured ropes leading to strange machines; and a body lay on a bed. or table, similarly attached to the same machines, while several men and women in white and green gowns hovered around, adjusting dials and attaching things to other things - Dewey gestured towards the jar and said: "meet my Pa, your descendant, the 45th President Donald 'Duck' Trumpet-Trousers; Pa, here's Sir Parlane MacFarlane, returned from wherever he's been for the last 50 years," and from a speaker positioned beside the jar, Parlane was astonished to hear a voice which, despite the strange metallic grating, was still recognizable to him as his descendant and friend: "Sir Parlane. my ancestor and dear, dear friend, you can have no idea how much I have longed to see you again," and Parlane could see no eyes, or ears, or mouth, but he paid no regard to that and spoke towards the jar: "Mister President, am that pleased tae see ye agin tae, whit's happened tae ye? ye'r no yersel, man!" and he heard the gentle whirring of fans and then: "is this not a beautiful thing, Sir Parlane? to be freed from the body and still be able to fuck the system? to have eternal life, with all it's pleasures and no aches or pains? or as you Scotch say, 'it's pure dead jammy', forgive the pun!" and MacFarlane shook his head sadly: "an nae chance o a fuck? na, man, thon's no a life, no fer moi onywey," and the voice chuckled, "still the same old reprobate, Sir Parlane, still ruled by your cock!" and MacFarlane stiffened: "it's the finest tool man ever possessed, Duck, an it's still fit fer purpose unlike your'n!" and he turned to Dewey, who seemed to have shrunk since the came into the room, with it's antiseptic smell and harsh lighting: "hoo've ye no brocht yon wee lassie doon, ah cood ha gien yer Pa a proof o ma tool's poo'er an micht? am bitten she's better thin a oont, or div ye prefer yows, mon?" and Dewey blushed to his sparse roots: "D-D-Dolores?" he gabbled, "oh, no, Sir P, no way, no way, she's mine!" and MacFarlane flashed a grin towards Duck's bubbling brain in it's bottle, "is this pathetic cur claimin tae be yer son? methinks ye've bin cuckolded Duck, he's no the same cut as yersel - weel, as ye wiz!"

(by MissTeriWoman)
The Quandary for Friday, April 21, 2017 consisted of: Challenge: use all four words together in one illustrative sentence.

Since September 2009, word lovers have offered 6434 sentences — each one a surprise — to QQ's unique and growing library. Explore other Quandaries through our word list or the calendar below. View yesterday's QQ resolutions or pick a day at random.

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