Quadrivial Quandary:  Logophiles, Rejoice!  Each day we give you four unusual words.  Can you fit them all in one illustrative sentence?

Attempts to resolve the Quandary:

1

"What the fuck have you been up to?" asked Martin Elginbrod WS QC, nobby in his tailored suit, complete with gold watch-chain, crisp white shirt and Merchiston Castle tie, despite the hour, as he sat across from Sir Duncan Doubleday QPM recently promoted Chief Constable of Police Scotland, who looked like he had rolled in a midden; "did they not let you deterge yourself, man? you smell of stale beer and something unpleasant"; they were in an interview room at the Grassmarket and Cowgate Community Policing Hub, with the microphone and camera switched off, this being a private consultation between the accused and his Solicitor and as confidential as a believer speaking through the grille to his Confessor; the handcuffs were off and both men were smoking, despite the 'no Smoking' sign on the wall; this was the first time they had met since their brawl in The Grassmarket a few weeks previously – officially they were cousins, unofficially, because it wasn't recorded anywhere, they were half-brothers, as was common within the MacFarlane Dynasty; "that bastard Angus Og is starting to remember," growled Doubleday, "and you thought to help him, with the other shoe?" prompted Elginbrod; "no more than he deserves!" and Elginbrod stared back at him: "in front of an audience? recorded on a dozen phones? or was it an act of Comstockery? muscular artistic criticism?" he tried to control his anger, the man was a loose cannon, a potential threat to The Ring of Gold, and he could not let it pass: " the Press are baying for your blood, Dunc, they smell a rat and they will go after you, Hammer and Tongs!" he knew he was mixing his metaphors but in the face of this stupidity his bile was rising: "it will take a miracle to get you released on Police Bail – you are the Chief Constable, after all, and Brevity and Bruse are using this as an excuse to rake over the coals, look under every stone, and what are they going to find? word has it that the Shanter and Westwater girls are down in Melrose, back from God knows where with a crowd of Actors and Queers including that shit-faced, second-rate, Muslim-loving Peter Boo, Diana Mitford and Geli Raubal, Tavish Fucking Dalwhinnie and Sister Evadne Eglantyne; and in case it has escaped your notice, they've got hold of Sir Parlane's long-lost Diary, and where do you think it was found? in a mediaeval Kist, possibly belonging to Lady Griselda of Longformacus, accidentally uncovered by a digger in a fucking Ha-Ha in Lesmahagow! – Ha-fucking-Ha, Lesmahagow, Dunc, does that ring any bells? the Very Reverend Angus MacAngus and the Dane clones authenticated it and it was just about to be sold on Wee-Bay to President Trumpet-Trousers for £15,000,000 when DI Brevity got an Injunction and seized it for Forensic Examination and that bastard Dalwhinnie and Sam Smiles have assembled a team to go through the Diary and who-the-fuck knows what they'll find? maybe even a list of the original members of the Ring! and you know what that means?" he stared at his half-brother, contemptuously; "no, what," sighed Doubleday, already exhausted and the night wasn't nearly over yet: "if they can find the names of all the original members and track them through their Family Trees, who do you think they are going to find at this end?" and Duncan slumped, his face in his hands; "us!" he mumbled through his fingers, "yes! little bro! us! and the rest! it'll be the end of us and a lot more besides! and whose brilliant idea was Lesma-fucking-hagow?" and in Drumchapel, under the stairs of his family home, the 13-year-old Economic Migrant, listening and watching, through the hacked cameras which covered the two men, like talking-heads on a TV discussion programme, sitting in the Interview Room, like programmes his mum and dad liked to watch, rubbed his hands in glee – this was even better than he had hoped for!

(by MissTeriWoman)
The Quandary for Tuesday, August 22, 2017 consisted of: Challenge: use all four words together in one illustrative sentence.

Since September 2009, word lovers have offered 7151 sentences — each one a surprise — to QQ's unique and growing library. Explore other Quandaries through our word list or the calendar below. View yesterday's QQ resolutions or pick a day at random.

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