Attempts to resolve the Quandary:
1
Monday morning dawned and I struggled awake, blearily aware that today was the final of the Darts Tournament, playing for a trophy I had won every year so far and had no intention of losing, but I wasn't prepared to admit that my acarophobia had grown much worse and now I could hardly get out of bed for fear of those damn bugs all over my room; as usual I handed myself some lame denegation of the feelings and repeated to myself aloud that I was well prepared to step up to the oche in the Pub down the road, but when I finally made it to the bathroom I saw that the stress and insomnia had given me eyes that looked like I'd plastered them with brown and black eye shadow.
(by OldRawgabbit)
2
There once was a Whore in Helsinki,
Who summoned her Beaux with a Pinkie,
One eve, by the oche,
She saw a fine Bloke,
Never dreamed that he'd give her the Itchy;
The Wench was an Acarophobian,
Denegated all who were Pavlovian
But her eye shadow hid,
A tremulous lid,
Since the Crabs she caught from a Moldovian,
Boom-Boom!
(by MissTeriWoman)