Quadrivial Quandary:  Logophiles, Rejoice!  Each day we give you four unusual words.  Can you fit them all in one illustrative sentence?

Attempts to resolve the Quandary:

2

I vowed to remain dogless,
But it was a hopeless task.
My father bought a chihuahua
So my pledge just could not last.
It lasted a biennium,
Then father came around
And brought the egregious object
To me, and not the Pound.
I said, you're quite incapable
Of caring for a dog,
And I will not receive it,
The work is such a slog.
But he responded brightly
With a mean non sequitur:
I never wanted a daughter
But I had to care for HER!
(by OldRawgabbit)

1

The Double Wedding of the Biennium, between Wild Bill Hickok and Annie Oakley, Grigori Rasputin and Calamity Jane Canary, held this morning in Melrose Abbey, brought a large number of celebrants from all airts and pairts: naturally, The Shottstown Ladies Quick-Draw Club formed the first part of the Guard of Honour, and the second were the Forgotten Legion (as they had been dubbed in the US tabloids) that Company of the United States Army which had been thought to have died in a mountain retreat under heavy fire in the middle of the Vietnam War but who had miraculously returned to the World out of the bowels of the Eildon Hills just months ago; and there were the other New Arrivals: Peter Boo, the Edinburgh Solicitor who had spent some time in an underground prison in 1938 Berlin and then 15th Century Milan, and Boo's companions, Roxie Davidova, now returned to her position as Leader of Scotland's Unionist Party at Holyrood and who had been missing since the day she made the first exploratory descent alone into the huge Cavern deep within those Hills, the Dadaist artist and performer Laszlo Licinic, famous British actor Leslie Howard, Peter Lorre, with his Moon Face, Geli Raubal and Unity Mitford – both thought to have committed or attempted suicide in Nazi Germany, Uncle Tom Cobley and all; and there were the group who had been present when Tavish Dalwhinnie had blown up the Ring of Gold with a bomb planted in the 12th Century Duke of Albany's Private Room, later travelled to Edinburgh and escaped Back to the Present through a Wormhole in the Space/Time Continuum which led directly from a moth-hole in Tavish's cloak to Little Levy Balquhidder's teddy, Karla: Tavish himself, Bernie Westwater and her wife, Tammy Shanter – Tavish and Tabby Shanter's daughter – Sister Evadne Eglantyne, Little Lolly, the Romanian sex-slave whom the evil Sir Parlane MacFarlane had tried to despatch from a tenement window in Edinburgh, just a few short months ago, sending her into Mediaeval oblivion, only to be rescued by the Priest of Our Lady of Wedale in what is now the village of Stow, newly served by the Borders Railway; and among the assembly, which included the two Professors Sir Clement Dane, still bickering egregiously between themselves, the new American Consul-General from Edinburgh, Miss Daisy 'Duckling' Trumpet-Trousers, a niece of the President in her first job since being expelled from Vassar, carrying a chihuahua in a handbag and surrounded by a quintet of men in dark suits, white shirts, sunglasses and earpieces, forever muttering into their shirt-cuffs, Rusty Irons and Dusty Douglas from The Ship Inn – Melrose's only pub, who were donating the day's refreshments to the entire assembly; and, of course, the two Matrons of Honour: Daphne Dumbiedykes and Maude Lyttleton, the first people in this Present Time to have met Wild Bill and called an ambulance to take him to the GBH (as the Borders General Hospital is affectionately known) and probably saved his life; of course there had been some debate among the two happy couples because they had spent the time since their re-incarnations as guests of my other two Aunts – Auntie Crist and Auntie May – but they had been adamant that they could never stand before God and Women and carry the epithet Honour! it went against all their principles and would make them a laughing stock among their fellow members of The Morningside Lady Dilettantes Club; so it was settled and the Service was carried out by the Suffragan Bishop of Goole, Very Reverend Peter Lyttleton, assisted by Rev Peterkin Pettifer, the Bishop's Chaplain, and Rev Kitty O'Toole the Bishop's Reader (closely watched from a discreet distance, in the middle of the crowd of Gullane Gurrrls and Maude's Famous Five, by Father Flannagan O'Toole SJ – her brother, who had brought several of his old and new Grappling Gang of professional and unprofessional All-In Wrestlers); the sun shone through a bitterly cold November day, but no-one gave a flying fuck for the cold outside, each body being well warmed within by copious amounts of Laphraoigh and, as a concession towards the Americans present, Old Kentucky; when Bishop Lyttleton asked if any-one present knew of any Legal Impediment to the Marriages, one wag shouted out the non-sequitur: "if it waddles like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a Melrose Prop Forward!" to many giggles and chuckles; there wasn't as dry eye in the old ruined Abbey or later in The Ship, and no-one noticed Jasmine Juniper-Greene slip in during the Toasts, and pass a note to Little Levy Balquhidder sitting in his High Chair at the Top Table, simply because – as Sam, a long standing member of the SSS (Scottish Secret Service) knew from experience, who notices someone dressed as a waitress while they are intent on rambling speeches and aware that their own glass is now empty? which is where Sam's timing was so perfect for he, dressed as a waiter, was pouring measures for all the parched assembly and other than Sam and now Little Levy, only Jasmine knew just how crucial were the contents of the note which the child read quickly, tore into confetti and tossed over Rasputin, who roared with delighted pleasure and handed the boy a glass of vodka!

(by MissTeriWoman)
The Quandary for Saturday, November 25, 2017 consisted of: Challenge: use all four words together in one illustrative sentence.

Since September 2009, word lovers have offered 7146 sentences — each one a surprise — to QQ's unique and growing library. Explore other Quandaries through our word list or the calendar below. View yesterday's QQ resolutions or pick a day at random.

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