Quadrivial Quandary:  Logophiles, Rejoice!  Each day we give you four unusual words.  Can you fit them all in one illustrative sentence?

Attempts to resolve the Quandary:

1

As they walked round the irregularly shaped block on which the five Good Shepherds Children's Homes were situated, DCI Jock Stein asked Bernie Cohen about the five Uncles and Aunts who supervised the Cluster; Bernie gave him the names and when he mentioned Martin Elginbrod and then Chick Cowcaddens, Stein swore under his breath: "now that's a pair of fuckers wha should be ahint bars; it was ane of youse got Coocaddens oot, on a technicality – he did it richt enuff an the jury saw that, but thon Bambona lassie, she twistet the facts, they shood ca her Bamboozle, cos she flummoxed the Crown Prosecution solicitor, got him fair tied up in knots, an aince the Judges suspected that he wisnae totally au fait wi his ain evidence they felt they had tae gie the bastard the benefit o the doot, but there wis nae doot; an as fer that Elginbrod character, he dusnae gie a fig fer Justice, it's aw money, money, money wi him, same as it wis fer his faither, money an self-promotion an publicity; but the other yins, MacFarlane, Doubleday an MacDonald, Ah dinnae ken much aboot them. whit can ye tellus?" and Bernie explained who Sir Paladin MacFarlane was, of course, and Doughty Doubleday was his 'Manservant' if that term encompassed all the man's duties, while MacDonald was the one known as AKA because there was a strong belief that he was actually Reichsmarshall Hermann Goering! "but he wis foon deid afore his execution, did he no poisin hissel, in his cell?" and Bernie agreed, "but his body apparently disappeared, though the Americans who were responsible for him immediately closed ranks, told everyone that he had been buried, end of story, except that the O'Hare family in The Gorbals have sworn an affidavit that he appeared in their flat, walked out of a hall cupboard and straight out the front door! they all saw him and once they'd seen his photo in the paper they insisted that he was one and the same – I have no idea how it happened, but I do believe them," and Stein nodded, "so does Alex Ferguson, and he certainly dusnae b'leeve in Fairies!" but Bernie had stopped in front of a very similar house to the one which had the grotto in it's back garden: "this is one of the Homes," he said, and followed Stein up the path to the front door; there was no answer to his knock and the house certainly seemed empty, with none of the sounds one might expect from a house containing five children; so Bernie followed Stein round to the back garden, but Stein seemed to lose interest in the house itself – he moved quickly around the garden, pushing shrubs and bushes aside to see what was behind them, and when he stopped and pointed, Bernie joined him: there was a kind of wooden trap door, with a large iron ring and, when Stein pulled it, the door lifted easily, on well-oiled hinges, to reveal a flight of stone stairs leading down: "okay," said the policeman, "I'm getting my team onto this one as well and we'd better inspect all the others - it's likely they'se aw got access tae this tunnel network, see hoo this is screened frae view by these trees, and that muckle fence, it's eight feet high, they certainly didnae want neebours seein this; would you mind poppin back tae fetch yer freen fae Crackjaw, ah micht tak a look inside the hoose afore the occupants return frae their Church Parade - what a load of fuckin hypocrites they ur!" – and a few minutes later, Bernie returned with Corporal Freddie Fassenfelt and Sergeant Tom Mix: "thankyou fer cumin gents, am goanie hae a fag here an then try the back door, wha kens, it micht be unlocked an it'll be ma duty tae check it's no been burgled while the occupants have been oot!" and Fassenfelt took the hint, he went to the door and a few seconds later called out: "hey, Buddy! you were right on that, they must have forgit to lock it before they went to church, see?" and true enough, the door was slightly ajar, and Stein said: "hemerology's no ma strong point, ah ken ma birthday an ma missus' birthday an ma three kids but dinnae ask me mair'n that, an this dusnae feel like ma lucky day, sumhooanever, but am antithetical tae shirkin ma responsibilities, so let's see whit's gaun oan here – oor past the winter solstice, but the days ur still short, lead oan MacDuff!" and with that he shouldered the door open and began what turned out to be an extremely thorough, informative and surprising investigation!

(by MissTeriWoman)
The Quandary for Sunday, December 31, 2017 consisted of: Challenge: use all four words together in one illustrative sentence.

Since September 2009, word lovers have offered 7147 sentences — each one a surprise — to QQ's unique and growing library. Explore other Quandaries through our word list or the calendar below. View yesterday's QQ resolutions or pick a day at random.

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