Quadrivial Quandary:  Logophiles, Rejoice!  Each day we give you four unusual words.  Can you fit them all in one illustrative sentence?

Attempts to resolve the Quandary:


And as Sir Principle MacFarlane was speaking with Mahip Manee Officer, just some fourteen hundred miles to the east and sixty years later, Magda and Dada were talking about how best to track down Dada's sister, Paula, who he knew was also in Vienna but had no address for her, which was when Jakob slapped his knee and said: "Kermit! Kermit Hackensack! why didn't I think of him already?" and the young couple looked at him in puzzlement: "who is Kermit Hackensack?" asked Dada; and Jakob explained: "he's a journalist, he writes under a dozen different names, collects boodle from Monarchists and Bolsheviks, Nationalists and Libertarians, Pacifists and Sabre-rattlers; you've probably read articles by him – he's in every newspaper and magazine in Austria, supporting every political ideology, espousing opposite views somet8imes on the same page! he's actually quite slimsy, looks like a Russian Poet – in fact he'll write you a Russian Poem for the price of a coffee! but he knows everyone in Vienna, he has a network of spies and informants, he probably knows that the Emperor has an ulcer even before the Court Physician has given a diagnosis; he calls them his Eyes and Ears, they are everywhere; in his spare time he writes novels and guide books and histories of the Balkans; some say he's a member of The Black Hand, and the Okhrana, and the Evidenzbureau, and even Nova Bosna, and I wouldn't put it past him, but if anyone can trace Paula, it's Kermit," so, after agreeing to seek out this mystery man, Jakob went alone to a bath-house which had a secret door at the back which led to Kermit's Headquarters; it was some time since he'd last been there and he was surprised to find a large room with twelve young women typing furiously while Kermit himself, wearing the uniform of a Hussar, complete with riding boots and a whip, walked about dictating extempore: "why Jakob Feldman, as I live and breathe! take a break girls while I catch up with my old friend," and as they shook hands Jakob asked why Feldman was dressed so outlandishly: "oh, it impresses the stenographers and helps when I'm writing about military matters; I've got the same piece being translated into Russian, Hungarian, Bulgarian, Serbo-Croat, Greek, Turkish and Rumanian, as well as Polish, Czech, German and French – this is the future, a typing pool who do simultaneous translations

as I dictate; watch my lips – this is the 20th Century, we have to adapt or die, Jakob; now, before the come back from their smoko, what do you want?" and Jakob laughed, "why should it be me who wants? maybe I habe something that you want?" and the modernist writer looked quizzically at his friend: "what can you possibly have that I don't know already?" and Jakob said: "my young friend, an artist – no Michaelangelo, but with encouragement and practice he can be very good, if he just relaxes a little, he's too tense," and Kermit asked: "is that the one who went for a consultation with Dr Freud the other day? pah! I've got no time for all that airy-fairyology, but tell me, how did it go for him?" and Jakob wondered how Kermit could possibly know, but simply replied: "Freud regressed him to a few years ago, when his mother was dying and Dada, that's the artist. and his sister Paula were nursing her; they were very close, Dada and Paula, but since he came to Vienna he lost touch with her, he believes she is here in the city, but has no address, and it would be like looking for a straw in a tailor's shop," and Kermit laughed delightedly, "you turn everything round, my friend, but I think I can make your young friend's day," and he strolled to the door and looked into the courtyard where the girls were laughing and gossiping: "hey, Paula," he called, "can you join us for a moment?" and a pretty, blonde girl followed him back into the room: "my friend is looking for you on behalf of your brother, Adolphus isn't it?" and she nodded, looking worried: "is he alright? I don't know where he is, can you help me?" and Jakob reassured her that Adolphus, "we call him Dada, that's his nom-de-plume, is well and working hard at out new venture, an avant garde night club, Cabaret Voltaire, he's been worried about you and didn't know how to find you!" and Kermit gave a mock-formal bow, sweeping his hand low: "you needed information and came for your enlightenment to the luminary, I already knew that your friend was looking for his sister, so I found her myself, two days ago: she is our German Stenographer and about to have her pay increased, because her work requires little correction – oh Zjarrta who does our Albanian can't spell, so she types everything phonetically, and sometimes I think that would be best, at least if i's read out loud it sounds perfect even if on paper it's a disaster area! but you don't need to know that, do you? go have a word with Paula, make an arrangement for after our office hours, I have no hold on the girls then, so as far as I am concerned she will be as free as a bird, just so long as she is here on time in the morning, would you like a glass of Vodka? there are a couple of bottles left from a piece I had in one of the Anarchist papers – they have no money so pay in kind, the liquid kind, but it's from St Petersburg, it's okay, you have five minutes and then I need to get this place buzzing, I have lots more in my head I need to pour out!"

(by MissTeriWoman)
The Quandary for Saturday, August 04, 2018 consisted of: Challenge: use all four words together in one illustrative sentence.

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