Quadrivial Quandary:  Logophiles, Rejoice!  Each day we give you four unusual words.  Can you fit them all in one illustrative sentence?

Attempts to resolve the Quandary:

1

And now that he grasped the dialect form, the peculiarly Dundonian Dialect, which to the casual listener seems only to contain vowels with nary a consonant, D – the former Russian Oilygarch, though he had no memory of that life, nor of his relationship to P, his companion since they had both awakened in the valley just a short while before - was able to converse with the Chieftain o the Pudden Race, as that person had proudly described himself and his fellow Cavern Dwellers, and first he asked him all the usual - stupid - questions: "where are we?" – "here," "what year is it?" "ah dunno," "where is Melrose?" "dinnae as moi, div ye think ah'm stupit?" and quickly moved on to more pertinent ones: "that thing on your wrist, what do you call it?" "it's ma aegis, he sed it'd keep us aw richt!" "who said that?" "him wha gied it tae us," "what was his name?" "el Capitano! or Parlane, Parlane MacFarlane, it wis him as tocht us hoo tae speak wurds, tae reed n richt tae, see!" and he waved to the wall and one of his people carried a brand over and showed P where an Alphabet had been written, perhaps with a stick of charcoal, and beneath each letter a number of words such as Apricot, Banana, Haggis, Keith, Monkey, Penis, Rantistirion and Zanzibar; D was confused, he had no idea who this MacFarlane person might be, nor why he should teach these strange people such pointless words, in the Dundonian Dialect; then the Chieftain said he would like to advert his visitors to one of the tribe's greatest and most powerful possessions, "it's whit we cry The Bible, it's aw aboot the Saviour o the Hale Pudden Race, whit he sed an dun, whaur he ganged aboot, an the Future, whit he cried the Eternal Mystery! wud ye like tae touch it? but mind, iffen ye try tae eat it oo'll hae tae cut aff yer goolies an stuff them doon yer throat and then cut aff yer heid!" and D promised and even crossed his heart, that neither he nor his friend would dream of eating the Immortal Words, and so the Chieftain – who's name, given him by MacFarlane, was Nigel – led them to a little cell towards the rear of the Cavern and unwrapped a package and showed them The Journal of Sir Parlane MacFarlane, Bart!

(by MissTeriWoman)
The Quandary for Friday, September 14, 2018 consisted of: Challenge: use all four words together in one illustrative sentence.

Since September 2009, word lovers have offered 7081 sentences — each one a surprise — to QQ's unique and growing library. Explore other Quandaries through our word list or the calendar below. View yesterday's QQ resolutions or pick a day at random.

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