Quadrivial Quandary:  Logophiles, Rejoice!  Each day we give you four unusual words.  Can you fit them all in one illustrative sentence?

Attempts to resolve the Quandary:

2

Feeling rather frustrated and annoyed, I dialled the number again and it was picked up on the third ring: "you again!" most definately not a question: "tell me again how you got this number," so, disregarding the feeling that I was being treated as a minion, I repeated the story of finding his entry in the Visitor's Book at the Church of Our Lady of Longformacus in July 2001 and his promise to answer truthfully any question to which he knew the answer, followed by a string of numbers and the note: "if you can work out the answer to this puzzle!" and the time my Aunts and I had spent vamping over them, until Father Macaneny, just returned from his afternoon passeggiata, walked into the back parlour with a glass of Jameson's and asked us what we were scratching our heads about; Auntie Cristo told him and showed him the entry in the book; his laugh provoked a coughing fit and he didn't speak until he had gone into the garden to spit out the phlegm and returned: "ah, Bejasus! an didn't it have me scratching me own head too an gettin the distinct impression some joker was pullin me leg an treatin me like a throttlebottom! until I saw it? it's a series o grid references, latitudes an longitudes, follered be dates an if ye can work out the right ones, which is the locations an which the dates, ye'll realise that each grouping, an there's hauf a dozen if me ould memory serves me aright, is an important event somewhere in the wurrld an obviously this feller's claimin tae know whit really happened an if ye've got enuff money tae spare on a wild goose chase ye're welcome tae it!" and we all stared at him as he sat down and switched on the television: "ach!" he snarled, "all they're bleatin on about is the same on the TV or the radio – this Independent Group of MPs, it's a contradiction surely tae God, is it no? it started with the Seven Dwarves walking oot o their Labour Camp an swearin tae bring down the Heid Gaffer unless he guarantees not to use silly nicknames when he addresses them, for the life o me, I'd never heard tell o ony o them, septin that young feller Chucka Munny, then another Dwarf nobody knew was there comes out o the woodpile an joins them, follered by the Three Little Piggies from behind the cottage, all because their Pigsty has voted to leave Fairyland and they don't want to but the Ould Sowell hoo's Queen o the Sty sez a the pigs includin her'll hae tae compromise an vote fer her Big Deal – so now there's eleven and can anyone explain to me how you can have an Independent Group or Pairty? surely the whole fuckin point – fergive me French, Mesdames – is that if ye're Independent, ye're not in any Group or Pairty, or am I missin sumpn here? an now yet anither unbeknownst Dwarf has stood up tae be coontit, though he's no fer jinin the eleven, cause he likes the Ould Sowell an sez he's fer acceptin her New Big Deal which is the Ould Big Deal with more vowels so instead o Twelve Apostles, ye've got eleven o wan an wan o the ither who's neither wan ting or t'ither, is that stupit or what?" and Auntie Maude asked him: "did you phone him, once you'd worked it all out?" but he just snorted: "dae ah look like I came ower on a Banana Boat? are me claes buttoned up the back?" and he looked pityingly at Maude: "is it me whose got a fortune tae spend on transatlantic phone calls tae a Conspiracy Nut? ye're damned right ah didnae, it's the pre-Twitter sorta thing these eejits got up tae, leavin strange messages aboot the place an waitin tae see who takes the bait – well 'No Me' is the answer!" and he threw down the remote control and went off in search of the bottle of Jamieson's he knew he'd put in a safe place, if he could only remember where!

(by MissTeriWoman)

1

My name is Theodore Throttlebottom the Third, a minion in the service of Her Majesty Queen Espaglacini, and I am burdened with the task of vamping up entertaining diversions during our late afternoon passeggiata.

(by The Masked Pimpernel)
The Quandary for Friday, February 22, 2019 consisted of: Challenge: use all four words together in one illustrative sentence.

Since September 2009, word lovers have offered 7418 sentences — each one a surprise — to QQ's unique and growing library. Explore other Quandaries through our word list or the calendar below. View yesterday's QQ resolutions or pick a day at random.

Definitions:

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