Quadrivial Quandary:  Logophiles, Rejoice!  Each day we give you four unusual words.  Can you fit them all in one illustrative sentence?

Attempts to resolve the Quandary:

1

When the old man entered the room, the other cried: "who are you?" and the old man replied: "you can call me Michael Malapert – herbalist, verbalist, survivalist, medievalist, memorialist, communist, fundamentalist, realist, hyperbolist, pointillist, somnabulist, but you'd be wrong, because beneath the stratum of power and wealth you inhabit, beneath the clothes, the fake tan, the syrup on your head, you are just rubbish, something the cat brought in, and you know what? it's no good looking at that phone for a report from #1 and #2 because they are heading for the North Sea, well, the bits the fish don't eat; you probably think of me as Mr Sclatch," and the other, caught off-balance, sat heavily on a Louis XIV chair, which broke under his weight and left him sprawled on the Axminster carpet, his mouth opening and closing like the stranded goldfish he resembled, "but you'd be wrong again, because the last time you held the phone to your ear, what you thought was a report from #1 was actually a virus being planted in your brain, it's wonderful how Huawei's 5G has extended the possibilities, and it will grow over the next 24 hours and then you will die horribly – and don't worry, there is a less painful way to go, though I probably shouldn't tell you, and it needs no skill or weapons: just walk out onto the balcony, climb onto the balustrade and step forward – the twenty-four floors will pass in less than 10 seconds and then zippo, you won't feel a thing, but personally, I'd rather you didn't, because I really want you to suffer; there's no cure, no doctor can help you, other than giving you a general anaesthetic, but this virus thrives on that, because it will enter your unconscious mind and create havoc and pain which no-one monitoring you will even guess at, their machines will show no signs; but hey, it's up to you, after all, you're the Boss," and with that, Mr Scratch walked out of the room and disappeared into thin air!

(by MissTeriWoman)
The Quandary for Wednesday, June 05, 2019 consisted of: Challenge: use all four words together in one illustrative sentence.

Since September 2009, word lovers have offered 7468 sentences — each one a surprise — to QQ's unique and growing library. Explore other Quandaries through our word list or the calendar below. View yesterday's QQ resolutions or pick a day at random.

Definitions:

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