Quadrivial Quandary:  Logophiles, Rejoice!  Each day we give you four unusual words.  Can you fit them all in one illustrative sentence?

Attempts to resolve the Quandary:


Before he reached for the door handle, Hyman Kaplan turned to face Norman Noggs: "you used to do a Sophie Tucker impression, is that right?" and his friend hesitated for a beat, then nodded: "when I was young, much younger – with a quality wig and carefully applied make-up, I could pass for a hipster, yes, I could even wiggle my bum, jive-dance, do the hands, still can," and demonstrated, "but why do you ask?" and Hyman, unwearied, grinned: "let's grab our pies and then you can tell me about it," so, once they had returned to the cubicle with their pies, Norman explained about his – albeit now distant history - student life: "there was a bunch of us, good Jewish boys and some students from St Andrews, the Catholic Seminary at Leaderfoot - it's long since closed down, became something of a white elephant due to the lack of young men wanting to commit to the Priesthood with it's vows of celibacy and chastity, so now it's a nursing home, but back then they were a lively bunch; we put on a show three or four times a year in the Corn Exchange - and as the Fathers at the seminary would never have permitted us to have any real girls in the company, six or seven of us did the honours - nothing like Ru Paul's Drag Race, more an End of the Pier show, with comedy, novelty acts, some magic, singing and dancing, and a vent, ha ha, a kid from Connemara who went under the name of Valentine Vox the Ventriloquist and now he's a Cardinal, but my Sophie Tucker was a straightforward homage, and I carried it off; honestly, I doubt if any of the general public realised I was actually a boy underneath, I had a good voice, good looks, with that same round face of hers, and visually, vamping it all up, could have been a real turn from the Roaring Twenties; one of the others, Gerald, now Father FitzMaurice, and still the Parish Priest down in Hawick, though he must be due to retire soon, did Old Mother Riley, with Monty Gold as her daughter, Kitty, and they were the ones who really brought the house down, but why are you asking, Hymie?" – and Kaplan, taking a moment to refill their glasses, then explained: "there's a house in Bowden I'd like to infiltrate, but I can't do it myself; MacFarlane and Doubleday are there now, that's where they went as soon as the Sheriff dropped the case against them, but they both know me, they saw me, Sadie and Rose, together with Isa and Milly and the two American women they'd trafficked to Prince Edward Island, you know, Crystal Shann-Delyeer and Flora Dora, after the Mountains landed up Dingleton Hill, and we were all taken together to the Hawick Cop Shop to give our statements," and Norman nodded: "it'll be Ranulph Ochan'toshan's place, Mother Kelly's, yes?" and Kaplan agreed: "have you ever been there?" but Norman shook his head: "not a chance – I know who Ochan'toshan is, of course, he's pretty well known, but quite unsavoury, we've never actually met, different circles – so you want me to try to get inside? as a woman? but look at me Hymie, I'm an old man now, not the boy who did a turn as Sophie Tucker fifty years ago, more than that in fact!" but Kaplan wasn't going to let go of his idea so easily: "that's the whole point, Norrie, if an elderly woman journalist knocks at the door and asks for an exclusive interview with the great Sir Parlane MacFarlane, who's going to suspect her of being anything other than she seems?" and this time Noggs gave it serious thought; it would carry risks, may require him to be valorous, well, he'd been in a few scrapes over the years, so what's new? and knowing that hesitation is the most paralysing, made up his mind: "ok, I'll do it, but we'll likely have to borrow the clothes from Daphne, she's probably about the same size as me, but it's your plan, so you can do the asking!"

(by MissTeriWoman)
The Quandary for Friday, November 15, 2019 consisted of: Challenge: use all four words together in one illustrative sentence.

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