Quadrivial Quandary:  Logophiles, Rejoice!  Each day we give you four unusual words.  Can you fit them all in one illustrative sentence?

Attempts to resolve the Quandary:

2

But in Bonchester Bridge, Flora Dora has been keeping an eye on the screen of her tablet and now calls Crystal over, and Crystal asks Teri and Jazz to have a keek; they watch the replay several times – see a Volvo that itself has seen better days drive along the Main Street of Bowden and park just shy of Mother Kelly's doorstep and an older woman emerge, pulling a fur coat around her ample figure, hesitate briefly, glancing in both directions and even, fractionally, upwards in the direction of the drone she cannot possibly see, before walking smartly up to the front door of Ranulph Ochan'toshan's pretty cottage and knocking firmly, with the vulgar brass knocker which is in the form of two, presumably, male bodies, the outer having a large phallus which penetrates the cleft between the buttocks of the inner when the two are conjoined with a loud report; having realised what she has just done, the lady takes a step back and unconsciously wipes her right hand on a tissue, as if it has come into contact with ordure, then chucks the tissue behind a small holly bush and once again glances around, presumably hoping that no-one has seen her do what she has just done; the door is opened by a hulking brute of a man, and Crystal says: "that hail-fellow-well-met is Ochan'toshan's butler, he's got form, I think you Brits would say," who sticks his head out and looks both ways, just as the woman did, then gives her the minimum of attention as she speaks to him, leaves her on the step for a few moments and then opens the door again to admit her, and once again scans the street, where not even a dog is to be seen: "so who the Hell is she?" asks Crystal, but the locals are mystified: "she looks about the same age as our Aunts, Daphne and Maude," says Teri, and Jazz confirms: "more like Daphne than Maude, but she's blonde, Daphne's hair is a kind of browny-grey, and Maude's is gingery-grey; she's more the build of Daphne, stocky and with shoulders, Maude is taller, I'd say, and slimmer, and Maude's face is longer, Daphne's is sort of round, like that woman's," as they stare at the frozen image, in good colour, of the woman looking almost directly into the eye of the drone: "d'you know," said Teri, Aunt or no Aunt, that's a hierophanic offering of a prayer to the Heavenly Woman up above who watches over us all, which makes me doubt it can be Daphne, the only prayer she says is when she's got a fiver on a horse somewhere, now Cristo, yes, she might, but the nose looks too big for her," and "it's not easy to judge her height at that angle," says Flora Dora, "and she could be wearing a wig," but Teri is shaking her head: "I've never seen Daphne or Maude, even Cristo or May, wearing a fur coat like that, it's the real McCoy, isn't it, very thick and hiding her actual shape," and Jazz says: "she's well made-up, see," as Flora enlarges the image and Jazz points out the red lipstick, arched eye-brows, dark lashes, even blusher: "if it wasn't for the make-up, I'd say it's Daphne, but to be honest, it's more just on the shape of the face, rather than the features and I've never, ever, seen Daphne wear so much make-up, fuck, she rarely wears any at all, almost never, but then," and Teri finishes the sentence: "if you decide to beard the Lion in his Den, you have to go prepared and maybe that's why she's put on the slap," but Crystal interjects: "she can hardly be trying to seduce MacFarlane, or Doubleday, they prefer younger women, girls really, there's nothing in our knowledge of them to indicate that they'd be interested in a pensioner!" and she glanced at Teri and Jazz: "no offence, but she's obviously in her 60s or 70s, even with the make-up, it doesn't hide the reality – maybe softens it, but come on, am I right or am I right?" and after studying the face again, so nearly familiar, but with foreshortening and the camouflage of enough hair to cover her forehead and cosmetics to smooth the skin and enhance the lips, it really isn't possible for either to be decisive: "possibly Daphne," says Jazz at last and Teri hesitantly agrees: "although it could be someone from the Unionist Association canvassing for their candidate in the General Election, the fur coat is probably a given for that scenario, axiomatic even," and Flora rewinds to the image of the car: "ever seen it before?" but the girls shake their heads, Teri being unable to identify much beyond a VW Beetle and Jasmine saying that there are quite a number of Volvos in the Melrose area, but the number-plate seems to have been muddied so that even when enlarged it is impossible to identify the number: "would your aunts do anything quite as recondite as that?" asked Crystal, but the cousins shake their heads - "they're not exactly au fait with the ways of spies and undercover operatives," says Jasmine, so Crystal goes on: "she can't know that we've got a drone up, I agree that glance was more offering a little prayer to her Goddess than hoping to be caught on camera," at which Jazz suggested that whoever it was may have wanted to be sure that no-one at the house would be able to trace her identity from the car number: "they do still have links in Police Scotland, don't they?" asked Crystal, which Jasmine confirmed, without giving too much away; they were, after all, civilians, and foreign ones at that: "can you hear anything from inside the House?" asked Teri and Crystal used her phone to call the Guys: "anything we can put on the house, or even inside?" she asked and waited, then: "okay, go for it!"

(by MissTeriWoman)

1

"Good morrow and welcome, my dear hail-fellows," the Master Toileteer bellowed as he regaled the new recruits, "and remember that first and foremost the discreet and recondite collection of ordure is an ancient hierophanic profession without which the proud foundation of our noble society would crumble into those very sewers upon which it stands, so therefore your duty must be literally carried out with the utmost sense of sacred dignity that such profound responsibility entails."

(by The Masked Pimpernel)
The Quandary for Tuesday, November 19, 2019 consisted of: Challenge: use all four words together in one illustrative sentence.

Since September 2009, word lovers have offered 7755 sentences — each one a surprise — to QQ's unique and growing library. Explore other Quandaries through our word list or the calendar below. View yesterday's QQ resolutions or pick a day at random.

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