Quadrivial Quandary:  Logophiles, Rejoice!  Each day we give you four unusual words.  Can you fit them all in one illustrative sentence?

Attempts to resolve the Quandary:


 The First Thing That Happened was, Benny Broigus pulled out a snub nosed Smith & Wesson and shot both the cops—not seriously, though of course Officers O'Halloran and O'Flaherty thought it was pretty damn serious enough—and grabbed Miss Mamie Goldfisch who had been on her way to work at the NY City Department of Redundancy Department (Waste Management, Refuse and Salvage Office) declaring that he was holding her only as a hostage and guaranteed that she would come to no harm from him—which seemed to imply to Miss Goldfisch that someone else meant to harm her, so she started screaming until Broigus told her to shut the fuck up if she wanted to see tomorrow, and that worked—and then The Second Thing That Happened was that a Professor of Wordsworthiana, Herman Hermit, who was driving an old, beat-up Dodge roadster, saw cops lying in the road and a weird-looking guy with a gun holding his sister Mamie like some kind of prisoner and knew, in a flash, that only he could save her, so he swung the wheel and swerved towards the commotion, knocking down and running over Chaim Chadband and his brother-in-law, Sam Spiegelman, before crashing into a fire hydrant, the result of which was that he—Hermit—was catapulted through the windscreen and landed on top of Felix Flabbergast and Sparks Marks where they lay in state on the sidewalk, as a result of which The Third Thing That Happened was, Benny and Mamie got such a fright that they both ran, hand in hand, down the stairs to the subway station and, finding a train in and just about to leave—they knew not whence, nor gave a whit—they threw themselves aboard, in the course of which Benny dropped his revolver which fell between the platform and the train, landing down by the near-side rail, unnoticed by anyone, but meanwhile The Fourth Thing That Happened was, in an office forty stories up and directly across the street from this mayhem and carnage, twenty-year-old Oscar Levantine had been in a hypnagogic state at the hands of his Therapist, Dr Lemuel Gulliverra but, before he was quite fully under, he felt or perhaps heard—his statements to the police later were contradictory—the zipper on his pants being slid down and cool fingers seemed to crawl inside and find his dick which, shocking to young Oscar—and he didn't put this in any of his statements—turned into a boner and he was instantly ashamed and awake and threw Dr Gulliverra off him, following up with a series of punches and kicks, driving the therapist towards the window, through which he was then pushed, and it was when Oscar leaned out to see what would happen to Dr Gulliverra that he saw there had been some kind of road accident down below, with a number of bodies scattered hither and thither and, being a public-spirited young man, he used the Doctor's office telephone to call for an ambulance, before adding: "better make it two, man, its a totally rad scene goin on down there!"

(by MissTeriWoman)
The Quandary for Monday, April 13, 2020 consisted of: Challenge: use all four words together in one illustrative sentence.

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