Quadrivial Quandary:  Logophiles, Rejoice!  Each day we give you four unusual words.  Can you fit them all in one illustrative sentence?

Attempts to resolve the Quandary:

1

"Dibble! you're gonna knock on the door, Dawg! you're gonna shout out 'Pizza delivery for Number 6', then you're both gonna hide behind those trash cans, Dunstable! you're gonna put this box of croquembouche on the doorstep, like a votive offering to Saint Michael the Archangel—Patron Saint of Police Officers—an' join your buddies behind the trash can, I'm gonna position myself to the right of the door an' when the person who opens it bends down to pick up the box, thinkin' it's a Pizza, I'm gonna squirt this water pistol into his faceit contains the rouille I obtained from Henri at the French Bistro an' the chilli peppers an' garlic are gonna sting like hellby which time, Defective, having down the back door, an' rushed down the hall to the front, will jump on the back of our Prime Suspect, just as he screams an' puts his mitts up to his eyes, an' you three rush him from the front an' you all wrastle him to the sidewalk an' I will arrest him for the abduction of Gina Lollobrigida an' we shall return to the Station as Heroes! yeah, Phelim, I know that ain't her name, but unfortunately HBPD is a den of cronyism, why, the four self-styled Officers with us are all related by Birth, Marriage or Death to the Police Commissioner, Nelson Z Schickelgruber, and are all nincompoops, an' Detective Defective is so named because his eyesight is so bad, he has four pairs of Prescription Spectacles, for Readin', Writin', Arithmetic an' Drivin' an' he's only certified to drive at a maximum of 5 miles per hourthe only Chase he could manage is to go after a kiddie's pedal caran' I only wanted to see if any of them would have the wit to notice I was usin' the wrong name, ha! now men, GO! GO! GO! you first Dibble, now you, Dawg, an' you, Dunstable, right, get behind the can, I can hear footsteps an' the lock turning, where's my phone, here it is, Okay Defective, GO! the door's openin' an' I see a hand reachin', here goes with the Chilli Pistol, Oh Jesus! Ruby Murray! STOP! all of you, get off her! Dibble, stop pullin' her ears! Defective, take your hands off her ass! Dawg, don't keep bouncin' on her back! Dunstable, what are you. . . . ? STOP THAT—THOU ART A PERVERT! GET THEE BEHIND ME, SATAN! oh Holy Mother of God! oh Fuck! Phelim, Phelim, call an ambulance, quick, it ain't Doubleday, it's Mrs Rubella Murriani Chatterjifamed TV cook and owner of the Ruby Murray chain of Indian Restaurantsoh Christ, if she sues, I'm toast!"

(by MissTeriWoman)
The Quandary for Wednesday, September 16, 2020 consisted of: Challenge: use all four words together in one illustrative sentence.

Since September 2009, word lovers have offered 7808 sentences — each one a surprise — to QQ's unique and growing library. Explore other Quandaries through our word list or the calendar below. View yesterday's QQ resolutions or pick a day at random.

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