The corpus deliciti, that is to say the body of Rube Snarlesby, showed by its erratic splatter pattern that he had been waltzing all a-go-go when the stiletto had pierced his breast; such corybantic movement at his last moment being quite ironic when one considers that it was the fallow state of his fidelity that prompted his fate.
The ladies of Layer-de-la-Haye Women's Institute were interrupted in the midst of a fascinating chin-chin regarding the benefits of saltpetre added to a husband's morning cuppa when divers yet enthusiastic ululations rent the crepuscular calm; upon discovery in the vicinage Augustine Bellwether and Simeon Callipygeon explained that the seclusion of the weald was the perfect place to practice pankration...
Jean-Pierre Bataille found with increasing chagrin that although his complice in gastronomic indulgence M. Lavoisier was his agemate, and also had the quiddity of always eating until he vomited, Bataille increasingly suspected an enterolith in himself - and its consequent invalidity - whilst Lavoisier gorged himself upon peacock eggs with undiminished vitality.
When Mr Carrow was quite trembling with a relapse of the angst to which he was intermittently prone, he remembered that as he was a man with an exceptional esthesia, the best and most esculent remedy would be a perusal of his favourite amative enchiridion Delightful Dalliances for Dashing Don Juans.
Aldous Trounter, after subsuming his body in the fizzingly sulphurous alembic of the Gentleman's Baths, sat in the lyceum, the residual dampness pressed hard into the fabric of his trousers by the obdurate but slippery seat, and then all at once the fons honorum entered the room to wrest from abeyance the Marquis of Ravensweald title, but upon whose head he would bestow it, who knew...
So nettled was Jasper Lazuli by the ubiquity of oh-so-trendy gastropubs catering to those with too much privilege and too little intelligence - executives in other words, that he decided to send-up the whole damn madness and open a new bistro to melt their little pinstriped minds - would they fall for the cutting-edge cerulean aioli?
Algernon de Thame was simply frumious to discover, whilst being violently vibrated in the omnibus, that the copy of Le Papillon Frémissant he'd had sent from Paris had been crudely redacted by the customs censor-morons; at once a vituperative reply began to ferment in him, stressing that the numerous scenes in question were essential to the artistic meaning of this Bildungsroman and that they were jolly well mistaken if they felt that just because the characters spent most of their time lying down he would do the same on this issue - no indeed, not copacetic at all!
Tarquin, 7th Viscount of Oxfuird, found solace from his acheronian existence, which had originated from the passing of his dearest spaniel Ticklelicious, in reaching new fur and gilt-trimmed nadirs of panache, and in recalcitrantly holding heterodox views on the delights of pederasty.
Iphigenia Slewfloret was appaled at the aesopian poems performed at the Garden Party; whilst undoubtedly hinting at the defalcatory nature of her husband's business and the inverecund nature of her leisure activities, the ambiguity of their periphrasis made them so bloody irrefragable.
Rostang de Capre, enjoying himself at Lapurd Blobeville's Lammas wine tasting celebration as only a true oenophile can, was emphatically not gruntled when a sixth sense told him that the 'ambient entertainment' would be Malkyn Pharaildis and her melismatic interpretations of the agonies of a stalk of corn shrivelling in the August sun.
Sturgent Waldtrount, keen to overcome the nouveau riche status of a fortune derived from the sale of herring paste and bicycle clips, attended the Grazenthumb College dinner with his insipid but coruscatingly attired young wife Melusina; all seemed well until Sturgent, tiring of the anacoluthons in the discussion concerning the canonical works of Marlowe, decided to ginger things up a bit by dousing the Dean with the Cullen Skink.
Dorian, whilst luxuriating in the unabashed oeillades from Wainwright, found it necessary, upon assaying his plangent ballads, to chasten the hot-house humidity of their florid flourishes.
Sophronia awoke one afternoon in May with the efflorescent crotchet to lancinate the stagnant bubble of latah suffocating her life in Mumblety; she would launch upon this by lustily imbibing absinthe while sporting a entire stuffed peacock atop her hat.
An impromptu conventicle was established at that entrepot Covent Garden Flower Market, to decide whether Constant Secchio should be allowed to continue in his métier after such infelicitous asseverations about the competence, sanity and appearance of the Committee members...
Constant Secchio was so stultified by the Opera House Commitee's volte-face announcement that it was withdrawing further performances of his Ballade du Hareng Fumé, that he could but wail, the canorous tones rapidly spallating into dissonant screeches of entreaty.
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