Quadrivial Quandary:  Logophiles, Rejoice!  Each day we give you four unusual words.  Can you fit them all in one illustrative sentence?

Quandary Resolutions by MissTeriWoman

  • #8642 submitted 09/17/2020: verbigerate, hokum, limpid, walklet, n.

    "Ruby, err, Mrs Murray, are you alright, let me help you up, what a fiasconever engage dimwits to do a responsible jobthese mencall them Police Officers? why, I'd just as rather call them buffoonslet me dust you down, here's a bottle of water to rinse your eyes, oh, gosh, they're red and fiery, what? you can't see a thing? an acid attack? oh, no, I can assure you, it was entirely accidental, a mischance, a misstep, an unusual convergence of entirely separate elements which by the remotest ill-chance all came together as you opened the door, oh! no, in no way do I mean to imply that it was your faultby opening the doorthat resulted in what unfortunately and well-nigh impossibly happened to happen, oh, Mrs Murray, Ruby, you denigrate me, verbigerative? why, not even Courtroom Opponents nor Learned Judges, would describe me in such bitter terms, hokum? may I assure you that I have never employed hokum in my puff, especially not in my dealings with you, limpid? is that how you really and truly regard me? my dear, love of my life, you know that if you and I were free I would consider it the most supreme achievement of my life, were you to become my wife, you are all I care about, all I wish for, please, best beloved, Star of the Orient, can we not take a little walklet while we wait for the ambulance? how are your eyes now? such lovely eyes too, but they can do all sorts of wonderful things these days, but rest assured I have sent those oafs about their business, you and I are alone at last and I will gladly accompany you to the Emergency Room, Phelim! what a fright you gave me, creeping up like that, why are you still here? why didn't you go with the Keystone Kops? can't you see that poor Mrs Murray requires sympathy and comfort and. . . . .recording? without my knowledge? how dare you, I'll sue you and Variety for every last cent you've got, no, please, come back, surely we can reach an agreement? Phelim! no! you can't let my wife hear all that, she'll get the wrong end of the stick, no, Ruby, I'm not talking about us, this reporter's from the National Enquirer, he's trying to make a scandal of your unfortunate accident, no, I know you were attacked, but you were the wrong person, in the wrong place at the wrong time, listen, the ambulance is coming, here it is, shall I get in with you? what? him! what do you want him for? but Ruby, darling, I. . . . ."

  • #8641 submitted 09/17/2020: verbigerate, hokum, limpid, walklet, n.

    "Ruby, err, Mrs Murray, are you alright, let me help you up, what a fiasconever engage dimwits to do a responsible jobthese mencall them Police Officers? why, I'd just as rather call them buffoonslet me dust you down, here's a bottle of water to rinse your eyes, oh, gosh, they're red and fiery, what? you can't see a thing? an acid attack? oh, no, I can assure you, it was entirely accidental, a mischance, a misstep, an unusual convergence of entirely separate elements which by the remotest ill-chance all came together as you opened the door, oh! no, in no way do I mean to imply that it was your faultby opening the doorthat resulted in what unfortunately and well-nigh impossibly happened to happen, oh, Mrs Murray, Ruby, you denigrate me, verbigerative? why, not even Courtroom Opponents nor Learned Judges, would describe me in such bitter terms, hokum? may I assure you that I have never employed hokum in my puff, especially not in my dealings with you, limpid? is that how you really and truly regard me? my dear, love of my life, you know that if you and I were free I would consider it the most supreme achievement of my life, were you to become my wife, you are all I care about, all I wish for, please, best beloved, Star of the Orient, can we not take a little walklet while we wait for the ambulance? how are your eyes now? such lovely eyes too, but they can do all sorts of wonderful things these days, but rest assured I have sent those oafs about their business, you and I are alone at last and I will gladly accompany you to the Emergency Room, Phelim! what a fright you gave me, creeping up like that, why are you still here? why didn't you go with the Keystone Kops? can't you see that poor Mrs Murray requires sympathy and comfort and. . . . .recording? without my knowledge? how dare you, I'll sue you and Variety for every last cent you've got, no, please, come back, surely we can reach an agreement? Phelim! no! you can't let my wife hear all that, she'll get the wrong end of the stick, no, Ruby, I'm not talking about us, this reporter's from the National Enquirer, he's trying to make a scandal of your unfortunate accident, no, I know you were attacked, but you were the wrong person, in the wrong place at the wrong time, listen, the ambulance is coming, here it is, shall I get in with you? what? him! what do you want him for? but Ruby, darling, I. . . . ."

  • #8640 submitted 09/17/2020: verbigerate, hokum, limpid, walklet, n.

    "Ruby, err, Mrs Murray, are you alright, let me help you up, what a fiasconever engage dimwits to do a responsible jobthese mencall them Police Officers? why, I'd just as rather call them buffoonslet me dust you down, here's a bottle of water to rinse your eyes, oh, gosh, they're red and fiery, what? you can't see a thing? an acid attack? oh, no, I can assure you, it was entirely accidental, a mischance, a misstep, an unusual convergence of entirely separate elements which by the remotest ill-chance all came together as you opened the door, oh! no, in no way do I mean to imply that it was your faultby opening the doorthat resulted in what unfortunately and well-nigh impossibly happened to happen, oh, Mrs Murray, Ruby, you denigrate me, verbigerative? why, not even Courtroom Opponents nor Learned Judges, would describe me in such bitter terms, hokum? may I assure you that I have never employed hokum in my puff, especially not in my dealings with you, limpid? is that how you really and truly regard me? my dear, love of my life, you know that if you and I were free I would consider it the most supreme achievement of my life, were you to become my wife, you are all I care about, all I wish for, please, best beloved, Star of the Orient, can we not take a little walklet while we wait for the ambulance? how are your eyes now? such lovely eyes too, but they can do all sorts of wonderful things these days, but rest assured I have sent those oafs about their business, you and I are alone at last and I will gladly accompany you to the Emergency Room, Phelim! what a fright you gave me, creeping up like that, why are you still here? why didn't you go with the Keystone Kops? can't you see that poor Mrs Murray requires sympathy and comfort and. . . . .recording? without my knowledge? how dare you, I'll sue you and Variety for every last cent you've got, no, please, come back, surely we can reach an agreement? Phelim! no! you can't let my wife hear all that, she'll get the wrong end of the stick, no, Ruby, I'm not talking about us, this reporter's from the National Enquirer, he's trying to make a scandal of your unfortunate accident, no, I know you were attacked, but you were the wrong person, in the wrong place at the wrong time, listen, the ambulance is coming, here it is, shall I get in with you? what? him! what do you want him for? but Ruby, darling, I. . . . ."

  • #8607 submitted 09/16/2020: votive, thou, cronyism, Ruby Murray, n.

    "Dibble! you're gonna knock on the door, Dawg! you're gonna shout out 'Pizza delivery for Number 6', then you're both gonna hide behind those trash cans, Dunstable! you're gonna put this box of croquembouche on the doorstep, like a votive offering to Saint Michael the Archangel—Patron Saint of Police Officers—an' join your buddies behind the trash can, I'm gonna position myself to the right of the door an' when the person who opens it bends down to pick up the box, thinkin' it's a Pizza, I'm gonna squirt this water pistol into his faceit contains the rouille I obtained from Henri at the French Bistro an' the chilli peppers an' garlic are gonna sting like hellby which time, Defective, having down the back door, an' rushed down the hall to the front, will jump on the back of our Prime Suspect, just as he screams an' puts his mitts up to his eyes, an' you three rush him from the front an' you all wrastle him to the sidewalk an' I will arrest him for the abduction of Gina Lollobrigida an' we shall return to the Station as Heroes! yeah, Phelim, I know that ain't her name, but unfortunately HBPD is a den of cronyism, why, the four self-styled Officers with us are all related by Birth, Marriage or Death to the Police Commissioner, Nelson Z Schickelgruber, and are all nincompoops, an' Detective Defective is so named because his eyesight is so bad, he has four pairs of Prescription Spectacles, for Readin', Writin', Arithmetic an' Drivin' an' he's only certified to drive at a maximum of 5 miles per hourthe only Chase he could manage is to go after a kiddie's pedal caran' I only wanted to see if any of them would have the wit to notice I was usin' the wrong name, ha! now men, GO! GO! GO! you first Dibble, now you, Dawg, an' you, Dunstable, right, get behind the can, I can hear footsteps an' the lock turning, where's my phone, here it is, Okay Defective, GO! the door's openin' an' I see a hand reachin', here goes with the Chilli Pistol, Oh Jesus! Ruby Murray! STOP! all of you, get off her! Dibble, stop pullin' her ears! Defective, take your hands off her ass! Dawg, don't keep bouncin' on her back! Dunstable, what are you. . . . ? STOP THAT—THOU ART A PERVERT! GET THEE BEHIND ME, SATAN! oh Holy Mother of God! oh Fuck! Phelim, Phelim, call an ambulance, quick, it ain't Doubleday, it's Mrs Rubella Murriani Chatterjifamed TV cook and owner of the Ruby Murray chain of Indian Restaurantsoh Christ, if she sues, I'm toast!"

  • #8606 submitted 09/15/2020: supercargo, orphrey, Sisyphean, dep, n.

    "Did I ever tell you of the summer before I went to Yale? three months as supercargo on a tramp steamer, plyin' her trade among the inhabited islands off Massachusetts, aye, Phelim m'boy, a Sisyphean task if ever there was one, round an' round an' round that circuit, deliveries herecargo an' passengers bothpick-ups thereof the samea crate of orphrey for a Parish Priest, a box of yarmulkes for a Rabbi, me an' my dep, Eggsan early-aged kid from Manhattanwho's old man worked at Yonah Schimmel's Knish Bakery and who's only experience of Life on the Ocean Wave was ridin' the Lower East Side Ferry, made a motley double-act, in addition to our duties with the cargo—makin' sure the right stuff went to the right place—we performed sea-shanties an' hornpipes for nickels an' dimes from ol' dowagers in furs an' blankets, with their ladies' maids an' butlers all runnin' aroun' fetchin' an' carryin' an' on one especially notable weekend, whodaya think gave us each a twenty-dollar tip? hey, whaddaya think you're playin' at here? you, Dibble, Dawg an' Dunstable too, you're supposed to be invisible to the naked eye, not slouched about in public, like the Three Stooges, an' who's coverin' the back door? defective? whaddaya mean? his name? you're kiddin', Detective Defective! oh, it's a Hungarian name, that's fine then, I'm all for inclusivity, eh, Phelim? right, well I'm just gonna confer with my informants an' then I'll tell you what's gonna happen!"

  • #8605 submitted 09/14/2020: toxophily, epicene, purport, coze, v.

    "Do you mind if I just pop into the loo? thanks, Roger, I'll see you outside in a few. . . . .Dom, I've got tae be double-quick, sposed tae be haen a slash, the cops ur a joke, bit the guy in chairgeCounty Prosecutoris sumpn else, talks aw Papist in his office bit ootside soonds like ane o thae ham actors in The Godfaither, bit ah reckon he's a wee bit epicene, limp-wristed ye ken, fer fuck sake, he's as bent as a paper-clip, aye gayor whit we used tae cry a cupboard-queeraye, bit the thing is, he's got unnercover dicks inside yer digs, huv ye seen onythin' oot o place, emdy acting suspicious? naebdy there? jeez, they must be buggers, naw, no thon wey, using bugs, electronic surveillance, huv ye swept the place reg'lar? ah ken yer no a hoose-wife, fur microphones or caimras? or onythin' purportin' tae be sumpn it isnae? like a tv or kettle or leccy toothbrush that dusnae work, get the idea? richty-ho, you get oan wi that till ah find oot whit his plan o attack is, bit he's sic a nonce, he's the kindo wanker that talks aboot his love o arras, maks ye think he's a toxophilist, an' then ye find oot he pleys dairts doon the pub, no airchery in the butts, aye, dairts in their butts an erses wud be his gemme onywey, bit hush, Dom, nuff o the cozen, he's waitin fur me, am aff back tae the front o yer cribif ah git ony idea, ah'll gie ye a buzz, ciao the now!"

  • #8604 submitted 09/13/2020: Pavlovian, cardsharp, verbiage, wallyball, n.

    "While we're here, Phelim, let's have a coffee an' a dish of croquembouche, eh? whaddaya say? excellent, hi, Marie, could you bring us two coffees an' a dish of those delightful little choux-pastry buns? she's Allouette's sister, an' Henri's fiancee, I told you it's a family business an' Family is the rock that Hanna Barbera is built upon, don't those aromas just tickle your taste buds? old Ivan Pavlov was bang on the money with his conditioned reflex discoveries, an' it ain't simply dogs it works on, you've seen the town, at least seventy different species co-habit with perfect amity, from Homo Sapiens an' Neanderthals, a whole bunch of Apesfrom Gorillas to CapuchinsFelines of different shade, stripe an' spot, same with Canines, Bovines, Rodents an' them's just the walkin' folks, 'cause the Avians are aplenty toonot to mention a passel of Robots, Dinosaurs an' Fishes, though they tend to keep to their own Hood down by the Marina—an' I tell you true, iffen any one o' those folks was to walk in here, take a sniff, he or she would be sittin' right down like us an' placin' an order with Marie, provin' Pavlovian Response is as true as that I'm County Prosecutor an' you're the Crime Reporter from Variety, but before I forget, my cell's been vibratin' I better answer it, hi there, you in place? good-o, what's doin'? an' the target? supremo! lemme know if anythin' stirs, over an' out, that was one of my undercover guys, there's two of them planted in the buildin' keepin' a weather eye on the target, yeah, a couple of Gumshoes just newly started up in townPDInquisitionsthey were workin' for Miss Dolcibello when she went missin' so they've got a vested interest in findin' her an' a great list of solved cases behind them, missin' heiresses rescued, blackmailers painted into corners, desperadoes denounced an' pornographers punished, here we are, tuck in, you know, I once met a cardsharp, Wally Ball, invented a suicidal form of Volleyball played in a sealed box, the final whistle goes when there's only members of one team still standing, an' they win, you mighta heard of him, no? never mind, he gave me some lowdown on the lowlifes that can be operatin' under the radar as we in Law Enforcement are wont to say, now he was a man of extreme verbiage, but when you cut through the nouns an' adverbs, suffixes an' prolapses, past participles an' grandparentheses, what he gave me was sound advice an' I intend to put his suggestions into practice in this operation, so, I'll just pay an' collect that bowl of rouille an' a tray of the pastries an' we'll be off, what's about to happen could be the biggest story of the decade, Phelim, an' it's gonna unfold before your very eyes!"

  • #8603 submitted 09/12/2020: Pavlovian, connive, foment, croquembouche, n.

    "Constable Dunstable, run after Mr MacFarlanethe guy I just sent to the French Bistro in your placeyeah, him, ask him to pick up an assortment of croquembouche, C-R-O, oh, forget it, Deputy Dawg, you're now Acting Sheriff till I get back, don't do anythin' stupid, actually, don't do anythin' at all, please! hey, MacFarlane, Phelim, hold on, there's a few other things I want from the Bistro, oh, it's just an idea I've got, well, the rouille is pretty obvious, you've probably worked that out, but I also need a few croquembouche, I wonder if you can see why, any ideas? nah, not bribes for that miserable apology for a policeman, or his sidekicks, they're equally idioticthey couldn't foment Law an' Order in a Kindergarten if they triedheck, can you see them connivin' together to issue a parkin' ticket? imagine if your name was longer than Smith or Joneswell, yours isthey'd ask you to spell it, an' if the spellin' didn't match the pronunciation, they'd write it phonetically an' all you'd have to produce in Court would be your driver's licence to get the case dismissed, an' Dibble! he's about the most Pavlovian of them all: switch off the light, he goes to sleep, if the light isn't on when the sun sets, he goes to sleep, tell him to stay awake, he goes to sleep, give him a job to do, he goes to sleep, tell him to stand against a wall, he goes to sleep, he should get a job promotin' mattresses, the guy can sleep anywherean' does, most of the timedon't be surprised to find him snorin' on the doorstep when we get back, ah, here we are!"

  • #8602 submitted 09/11/2020: Pavlovian, rouille, ruddy, bird colonel, n.

    "Well, Phelim, my Old Man was a bird colonel in the Air Force, so my responses in a critical situation are Pavlovianinstincts kick in, it's like strategies an' tactics are hard-wired, like, in my DNAno messin', I just cut to the chase, hey, Constable Dunstable! yes, man, you with the ruddy face, go round the corner, yeah, that corner, go into the French Bistro, ask to speak to the Chef, it's just two doors down on the right, you can't miss it, it's called Allouette's French Bistro, fer Christ's Sake, ask for Monsieur Tout le Monde, tell him Roger Muddler wonders if he could spare a little bowl of rouille, okay, write it down, well make it Mister, that's easier to spell, okay, his first name's Henri, no, H-e-n-r-i, an i not a y, because he's French, just ask to speak to the Chef, Henri, okay Henry if you can't say Henri, and Roger Muddler - yeah, that's me - wants a small bowl of rouille, it's spelt r-o-u-i-l-l-e, it's pronounced roowee, okay write it like that, and here's five dollars, bring back the change, no, I don't know how much it'll be, less than five dollars, whaddaya mean can Deputy Dawg go with you? it's just round the corner, you have your script written down, I've given you the money, what more can you possibly need? oh Sweet Jesus, spare me from Cretins, Imbeciles, Morons, Idiots an' the entire HBPD, no! neither Dawg nor Dibble can go with you, hold your hand, look, Phelim, these guys are totally incompetent, would you mind going to the French. . . . .? thanks, you're a pal in a million, now, you lot, here's what I want you to do. . . . ."

  • #8601 submitted 09/10/2020: Juno, manacle, encumber, chin-stroking, n.

    "Why do I need scissors? take a look around Phelim, whaddaya see? yeah, okay, lotsa buildin's, whaddaya think they're made of? yeah, that's what you see, or think you see - brick, stone, marble, glass, iron, iron? where? oh, yeah, well that looks more like aluminium to me, but okay, metal - now, if I tell you that your eyes are deceivin' you, an' everything is actually paper, or a thin plastic film, celluloid really, stretched over balsa-wood frames, what would you say? no, askin' me 'why' ain't the answer I'm lookin' for, think about it, think about where you are, yeah, Hanna Barbera, an' where is that? yeah, California, an' what's under California? that's right, the San Andreas Fault, which in fact runs right under Hanna Barbera - an' other places too - and there's a danger of earthquakes, so, bein' far-sighted, the town - oh, years ago, way back when you an' I were young, Maggie - decided not to build stone, brick, concrete, other heavy materials which can fall down an' crush people durin' an earthquake, they sent a young architect to Japan an' he came back an' designed lotsa buildin's made with a balsa-wood skeleton an' painted paper - to look like whatevva you want - an' that's what we got, plus some more recent with celluloid, an' the windows are made of sugar-glass, smart, ain't it? now, I don't wanna encumber you with too many facts an' figures an' statistics, just suffice it to say that if you ain't gotta key to open a paper door, a pair o scissors is the next best thing, oh, it's just along here, oh, for the love o' God, Constable Dunstable too! you'll remember Captain Jack Boyle's highly apposite words in O'Casey's Juno an' the Paycock, yeah? 'the World is in a Terrible State o Chassis!' well, take it from me, Hanna Barbera is in a Terminal State o Chassis now! you ain't gonna see me doin' much chin-strokin' here - ass-kickin' maybe, heads knockin' together, probably - but I don't got time to ruminate an' philosophise, persuade an' cajole, if I'm gonna get that Doubleday bastard manacled and down to the Jail for a Third-Degree it's gotta be with decisive, dynamic an' damn-well dirty action!"

  • #8600 submitted 09/09/2020: Homeric, desideratum, bunkum, smack talk, n.

    "Sez who? Officer Dibble? why are you there Dibble an' what the hell are you talkin' about? where's Captain Eisenhower? put him on! playing golf? playin' fuckin golf? so whaddaya mean its impregnable? a steel door? that's impossible! we don't have steel doors in Hanna Barbera, you know that, dontcha? well we don't! if Eisenhower's away, who's running this operation?—I wanna speak to the Organ Grinder, not the Monkey!—you are? how the hell did you get put in charge of it? sorry, Mr MacFarlane, Phelim, there seems to have been a mix-up, Dibble's a clown, he shouldn't be running this show, Homeric he ain't, listen up Dibble, do you have a pair of scissors? why the hell not? oh, in the name of Jesus! you gotta Man Up, Dibble, and send someone round to the Art shop, fuckin' pronto, it's here in the Square, it's the one called The Art Shop! for fuck sake! they'll get scissors there, so who else do you have? Deputy Dawg! oh Holy Mother of Jesus, it gets worse, he's a fuckin' cretin, total bunkum, the Captain's playin' nine holes an' the Lieutenant's gone to the Podiatrist 'cause of a bunion, Jesus Wept, do you want me to take charge, Dibble? watch what you wish for, Dibble, it may not be up to your Desideratum, you might have all the time in the world to play golf yourself after this debacle! sometimes you gotta give these imbeciles a bit of smack talk, shock them into action, of course it don't always work, you wanna know what he said when I told him he could have all the time in the world to play golf? you wanna know? he said he preferred bowlin'! fuckin' bowlin'! he'll get a bowlin' ball up the ass if he fucks this operation up any further, Dibble? you still there? okay, I'll pick up a pair of scissors an' be with you in five minutes, c'mon Phelim, this'll give you a scoop for your story, you're gonna see the County Prosecutor take over a SWAT operation an' arrest the Prime Suspect, now, be careful, he may be armed, armed an' dangerous so keep behind me, an' keep low!"

  • #8599 submitted 09/08/2020: Griselda, bottle episode, impregnable, situla, n.

    Griselda Zingali stepped out of the Bakeria, carrying a pair of beautifully decorated situlas and walked over to the table, poured fresh coffee into their cups and then did the same at the other two tables where more customers sat, chatting and enjoying the balmy weather, and the man passing himself off as Phelim MacFarlane from Varietytalk about hiding in plain sightsuddenly became aware of a change of perspective, which turned the large square, with it's central plaza, containing a number of colourful flowerbeds and a statue of Hannah Barbera as a Greek maiden, riding a white horse with an urn held on her shoulder by one raised hand, and surrounded by an assortment of buildings in a variety of architectural styles and apparent usagesthe Bakeria and several other shops flanking St Zita's Roman Catholic Church, a couple of banks, a bookshop, several apartment blocks and a movie theatre, a bar and two dress-shops and a men's outfitters, with cowboy boots and stetsons in the windowsinto a bottle episode of a tv sitcom, the facades obviously painted scenery flats with nothing behind them, the gaudy flowers silk or taffeta, the people merely extras with no speaking parts, and then he heard the BANG! followed by some incoherent shouts, and almost immediately the crackle of Muddler's phone and a gasping voice which seemed to echo through the ringing silence: "we can't get in, it's fuckin' impregnable!" and if anyone had been looking at him, they might have noticed the tiny twitch of a suppressed smile at the corners of MacFarlane's mouth.

  • #8598 submitted 09/07/2020: Ballardian, spit, plaudit, delibation, n.

    "Coffee and fresh baked bread, old man Zingalihe's 82 and still comes in every morning at 5am to start his preptold me that when he was at the door this morning, he saw Father MacGimpsey at the church door and he called out: 'early start for you too, Father?' and MacGimpsey calls back, 'no way, Joe, I'm just finished from yesterday!' that man's a Saint, he'd been out through the night, calling on the sick and invalid, hearing Confession from folks who can't make it to Saint Zita'snot that they'd have a lot to confess, other than impure thoughtsbut he deserves all the plaudits he gets, you know when you look around HB and especially neighbourhoods like Banbury Cross, you wonder about all those dystopian, Ballardian writers, and ask yourself, 'what kind of jaundiced eye do they have, to perceive the kind of future they write about?' hold on, that's my phone: hey Captain, how's it looking? got him on a spit, eh? you sure he's in there? excellent, okay, let me know five before Crosshairs, that's the name of the operation, Crosshairs, but don't worry, we'll be safe here, you'll only get a delibation of what happens, a smidgeon, probably hear some shoutingno, shouting, not shooting, I hopeand maybe the crash when the Unit batters the door down and, if everything is as we expect, the first you'll see is when a Paddy Wagon comes in that way and pulls up over there, and they hope to bring friend Doubleday out that door, the green one, beside the Pharmacy, and then we cam tail them back down to the Precinct, where he'll be booked in and then I'll get a chance to interrogate the rat! lovely bread, ain't it to die for?"

  • #8596 submitted 09/06/2020: cock-horse, bray, colloquial, ambuscado, n.

    "Won't take us long to reach Banbury Cross, what's that? yeah, she sure is, a good person and a dutiful wifedevoted, devout and demureand a wonderful mother, say, you want to come over to dinner tonight? let you meet a typical HB family at home, make a change from your researches into this case, I guess you've been interviewing Miss Monticello's family and friends, work colleagues from the Luncheonette, getting all the colloquial stuff, bound to be more colourful than Police Reports, especially from folks who know her. . . . .Four Bridges? the Service Station and Truck Stop? why would she go there? oh, yeah, I guess she probably didn't do a lot of cooking in her Trailer, so yeah, makes sense to pop over there, I never thought of that, what Rec? ah, the Recreation Area, yeah, it's a cute spot, with the Lake and all, I know some people like to walk or jog round there, but I've never had much time for exercise - time I've had dinner, caught up with paperwork, all I really want to do is get horizontal, read a couple of pages, sleep. . . . .Jessica? nah, she's never mentioned that place, I know she does Yoga at the Women's Group, they have a pretty full programmea Book Club, Baking Nights, Discussions, Art Classheck, some weeks she's out five nights in a row and when she comes home she's so pepped up and flushed, she stretches out on the living room floor and does her Meditation to unwind, she's some woman, I can tell you that, nah, I love my kids and enjoy helping them with their homework, getting them ready for bed, reading a story, that's relaxation for me, yepp, family life suits me down to the ground, are you married? girlfriend? no, thinking of settling down? I bet Jessica could introduce you to some of her single pals from the Group or the Catholic Women's Association, listen, if you want a good, decent, loyal wife, who'll keep her vows and never dream of cheating on you, Hanna Barbera's the place to find one like Jessica, I'll give her a call, ask her to set an extra place, she won't mind, I bet she'd just love to meet a newspaper writer, might even ask you to give a talk to the Women's Group, especially someone from Variety, that'd be a scoop for her, ha ha! but don't get me wrong, Jessica isn't just a Home-maker, she studied at Harvard Law andthough it isn't Yaleit was good enough to land her the job of Special Counsel to the Mayor of Hanna Barbera, and I really shouldn't bray, but Jessica could do his job blindfolded, standing on her head, and with her arms tied behind her back, and here we are, there's St Zita's, Father MacGimpsey'll be inside waiting, and see, Zingali's Bakeria, what did I tell you, it's actually leaning against the Church and if my cock-horse doesn't turn out to be a cockamamey fantasy, then the ambuscado's already in position and if they are doing their jobs right, you won't see a thing of them until I give the order, so why don't you take a seat at that table outside the bakery while I have a word with Zingali, how'dya like your coffee? ha ha, hot and black, just like me!"

  • #8595 submitted 09/05/2020: cock-horse, ascesis, heyday, nudum pactum, n.

    "You okay now? gave us all a bit of a scare, luckily Wun Tun knew how to do that Heimlich thing, yeah, what's that? you thought cock-horse referred to some form of bestiality? you misjudge me, sir, my morals are unimpeachable, and my good lady wife will vouch for that, why, I am a devout Catholic and my lifestyle is characterised by ascesisthis may be the heyday of perverts and deviants, all across the country, but you won't find a trace of them in Hanna Barberathis is a town of decent, law-abiding, upstanding people who have no truck with the lasciviousness you may find in other Californian communities, there have been no births out of Holy Matrimony here in twenty years, not one divorce in thirty, adultery is unheard of, our people stick to their vows because they are the bedrock of civilisation, marriage here is no nudum pactum, an unenforceable contract, no siree, rather it forms the basis of clean, healthy and everlasting unions, which no man shall split asunder and if you don't believe me, I'll introduce you to Jessicaand she'll tell youwhy, nary a thought or temptation could lead her to stray, of that I can assure you, any more than that I could be seduced by a pretty face and shapely legs, no sir! the Township of Hanna Barbera is the American Dream come True! even the LDS admit that they cannot compare with us when it comes to natural fidelity, after all their multiple wives stuff smacked of Islam, didn't it? but did you know that no woman of the streets has solicited within the boundaries of Hanna Barbera County in 40 years? homosexuality and lesbianism are unheard of and if you ever wanted to find the opposite of Sodom and Gomorrah, Mr MacFarlane, you came to the right place! and I speak for all our citizens, of whatever species, whatever religion or denomination, creed or colour, we are United in our different Faiths!

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