- #7198 submitted 01/27/2018:
roland, community, nebulous, discumbent, n. and adj.
Oh to be discumbent at the table of a queen!
To join in the community of greats!
Discovering you're a roland for the company you've seen
Assembling at the palace royal gates!
Then that feeling of disquiet, that nebulous dismay,
When they're handing you your apron and considering your pay.
- #7196 submitted 01/26/2018:
roland, drop bear, retrodict, Felliniesque, adj.
I tried to host a party for the artists of my town.
It was Felliniesque, in that they nearly burned me down.
They turned up dressed as dragons, witches, whores and bondage freaks,
And a drop-bear with a plastic tree, and ten computer geeks!
So, just to give a roland, I went out and bought a mask,
But to scare this group of misfits was such a hopeless task.
The movies of Fellini retrodicted this affray
For though they hadn't heard of him, they did him proud that day.
- #7193 submitted 01/25/2018:
euhemerism, haggis, mansuetude, magnanimate, v.
Burn's Night last year will not be missed -
For aggravation was the tone
A speech by yon euhemerist
Spoiled merriment and sent them home.
Our aim is to magnanimate
We brought a haggis to the feast;
Their joy abounded as they ate
And their mansuetude increased.
We sang an ode to praise the fare:
"Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face",
And that fine haggis was declared:
"Great chieftain o the puddin'-race!"
- #7190 submitted 01/24/2018:
hymeneal, swarf, contrite, Eeyorish, adj.
I offer an Eeyorish ode
To those who do deserve it:
The swarf of grating words in code
For all who may observe it
I shall not quickly be contrite
Nor offer hymeneal blight
Nor seek to bring a wrong to light
But merely do preserve it!
- #7188 submitted 01/23/2018:
stent, glossolalia, synchronicity, momist, n.
Just because I speak in tongues
A brutal momist you've become
And for my glossolalia
You say I am a failure
But to the clinic I had gone
To get a stent, and it went wrong,
And by a synchronicity
The doctor couldn't speak to me
For he spoke only Japanese
But I could then converse at ease
He saved my life, all due to that
So say no more about my chat.
- #7186 submitted 01/22/2018:
fabian, tickety-boo, leonine, God's penny, n.
I met a member of the Fabian Society - a leonine chap with a blond curly mane and strangely golden eyes - and asked about the membership fee. On learning the procedure, I gave him a God's Penny in token of my interest, which he said was all tickety-boo with them.
- #7184 submitted 01/21/2018:
groggy, breadbasket, extenuate, biggity, adj. (and adv.)
Oh thou biggity sloven of a girl
Lying groggy in the lane!
I would not associate with thee for all the world
Thy manners give me pain.
Thy breadbasket tumbled out, and in the weeds
Provisions soiled and damp,
There is no way to extenuate thy deeds
For thou art a frowzy tramp!
- #7182 submitted 01/20/2018:
groggy, intuit, bespoke, belve, v.
I'm still a little groggy from the night before, and regret I went out at all, because I was able to intuit beforehand that it would go badly. My boss turned up in an expensive bespoke suit, and I had to listen to him shout and belve about the Company all evening.
- #7180 submitted 01/19/2018:
groggy, ununennium, trammel, flâneuse, n.
She strolls around town
Untrammelled by care
An aged flâneuse
With dirt in her hair;
She's groggy, unsteady,
And gnashing her gums
And says she's discovered
- #7178 submitted 01/16/2018:
flotsam, serac, adapt, epiphany
We were planning on salvaging flotsam, but we made landfall on the glacier and intended to rest and recuperate, but a shifting sérac caught us by surprise and nearly ended our journey. Then Jimmy had an epiphany of sorts and decided to adapt the skiff as a shelter until we could summon help.
- #7176 submitted 01/15/2018:
copper-bottomed, obtuse, intrepid, repurpose
One ingenious engineer,
Intrepid, though obtuse,
Thought he'd add an extra gear
To the vehicle he used.
This copper-bottomed scheme of his
(Repurposing his cogs)
Wasn't such a clever wheeze
When it all went to the dogs.
- #7173 submitted 01/14/2018:
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, windsucker, demiurge, upcycling
When my father was diagnosed, he still maintained his sense of humour, like a demiurge skilled in the creation of good out of the essence of evil. In a way, he upcycled his fatal disease into a comedy routine, claiming to have broken the world record for the longest name of a disease ever found, that is, pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. That stopped his mates in their tracks, and paid them back for calling him a windsucker in the days before his diagnosis.
- #7168 submitted 01/10/2018:
infundibuliform, spendthrift, cohort, Hogmanay
The hotel in my local town
Was full for Hogmanay,
The spendthrift customers abound
All keen to toast the day;
The crowds that throng Reception are
And cohorts of them fill the Bar
Like hornets in a swarm.
- #7165 submitted 01/08/2018:
senectitude, mendacity, mutatis mutandis, regift
Anne gave me a CD of 70's music, then blamed it on senectitude (but whether she meant hers or mine it was hard to tell.) When I regifted it to our Aunt Doris, with uncaring and barefaced mendacity, Anne then recorded a different version, purporting to have been from me, but mutatis mutandis, deleting the 70's hits and replacing them with 60's classics.
- #7163 submitted 01/06/2018:
scrouge, Twelfth Day, vapid, Brussels sprout
We're SO very sick of Brussels sprouts!
My ungrateful children cry,
They're tasteless, vapid and horrid, they pout
Why serve them? Why oh why?
And now it's not even Christmas, they say,
When you might have had an excuse,
But everything's over, it's now Twelfth Day,
Don't continue with this abuse!
And all the while I'm scrouging past
The table where they took their seat
Avoiding their faces all aghast
To effect a very hasty retreat.