Contrary to contemporary expectations, mere shepherds were the first rapporteurs of the holy neonate's numinous birth, who was trussed in scraps of linen rather than princely robes.
In an attempt to both mitigate the disgusting display of Christmas creep and elcudiate my thoughts on the subject, I plucked the merrythought from the steaming turkey carcass and hurled it from the balcony.
The old ditty-box intrigued me the most, embossed with a motif of tear drops, like a trickle of aspersion or a stream of lonely yins, and whose content was a veritable pantheon of multiculturalism comprising reels of bright Chinese silk, a handful of Cardamom pods, dried Kashmiri chillis, fishbone needles, a carved ivory chess piece, and even a yellowed shark's tooth.
Upon entering the laboratory I was initially taken aback by the Professor's uncharacteristically highfalutin demeanor, strutting round the central workbench pontificating about his work in the field of primordial biology to a congregation of apparatchik grad students and technicians, but as the Professor uncovered the shrouded beaker at the centre of the bench the reason for this atypical smugness was soon revealed, with a gasp from the crowd: a perfectly formed homunculus, resembling his own visage, suspended, in repose, in the beaker.
The detective comported himself rather infelicitously, considering his métier, wandering the expanse of the drab entrepôt, picking up random objects, which appeared to be the remains of some kind of pagan or Druidic conventicle, and either flinging them away in disgust or pocketing them furtively.
Whilst prolix and grandiose, I rather enjoyed the old preacher's oratorical style, an enjoyment which was not widely shared amongst the crew who were presently dappled with a fresh batch of spittle as the preacher raised his hands and cried, almost indignantly, "the Paschal Lamb was no mere beau geste my friends but the very abrogation of sin's wage!"
His heart sang praises to Somnus as the obtuse, nebulous mist of slumber gave way to the gates of some Ruritanian bliss where he witnessed a vision of that most delicate of soubrettes, reclining under an apple tree, her pale skin dappled with the fading light of autumn.
The eighth potentate of Europa set a striking contrast to her indulgent predecessors as the affluent moon's most abstemious ruler thus far, doffing her jewelled ceremonial garments whenever possible and disengaging from courtly banquets at an early hour or even earlier at the slightest sign of larrikin behaviour amongst the guests, of which her immediate predecessor was known to encourage, and even engage in, himself.
Our chauffeur was initially unctuous in the face of our larrikin merriment but became markedly antsy as one, then two, then three glasses of champagne were spilled, prompting the muttered jibe of "meshuggener" under his breath as I slipped an extra bank-note under the glass.
I realised the gravitas of the situation when I discovered, amongst the bumf that the postman delivered, the very solution to my riddle scribbled upon a single sheet of foolscap.
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