Madame Worthington, the orator par excellence at the Women's School of Pomposity, was beckoned to the dais to receive her lifetime achievement award for her work not only as a diseuse but also as a mentor, helping fine young woman achieve grace and elegance in society, and publicly, unequivocably, dealing with the adversity of the many nefarious issues plaguing the community at the time, such as the sticky wicket of whether a young lady was expected to laugh after a gentleman made an off-color joke, or the tar baby of whether a refined debutante ought to correct an elder's grammatical mishap in front of others.
By nimbly composing air-tight theories on the nature of air-tight chambers and shedding light on more efficient lighting, he engaged in ample linguistic calisthenics and, much like a world-class fencer, wielded his literary épée, parried, though never returned, the verbal blows of the elder PhD students, who with reptilianness and condescension, insulted the ephebe’s green nature (both his nascent education in engineering, having just graduated from *gasp* a liberal arts college, and his penchant for energy-saving fluorescent lightbulbs) while simultaneously espousing their own cockalorum concerning their self-importance and supposed “unrecognized genius. “
In a rash and poorly-designed, albeit pedantic, manner, Dan thought to himself, "Although I cannot draw or paint impressively, perhaps using fancy five-dollar words about incunabulum, or other forms of antiquated literature, will woo the well-read, sylph-like enchantress and prove the ability, nay the agility of my wit" and intended to implement his plan toot sweet, not wanting to miss even a moment's affection but alas, he went in such a roundabout way using his esoteric verbiage that she had become (or admittedly, remained) uninterested.
The snail mail I receive from my mother, written on her yellowed parchment so it may as well be an incunabulum, always serves as a zeitgeber for the seasonal, and subsequently my dietary, shift as it arrives every three months and contains recipes exhibiting the current produce: kickshaws with curry, savory soups with cinnamon, appetizers with apples.
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