Buck's malignant misoneism led him to retreat from modern life in clearly marked stages: in the first stage he abandoned his Manhattan loft and fellowship at the Futures Institute for a shack at a remote mango plantation in Borneo where he adopted a primitive agrarian lifestyle farming mangos for the mangoed fruit trade; in the second stage, he deserted the plow and the ox, cut off communication with family and friends, and retreated into the jungle with only a loin cloth, a backpack, and a knife; in the third and final phase, he withdrew into a cave where his only companions where bats and millipedes, and where he was finally found by rescuers in a comatose state, clutching the last vestige of his former life--a battered Blackberry.
"Whitherward," the crone pointed with her skeletal finger toward the fading sun, "you shall find a friendly Gnome who will help you gather the wherewithal for the first instar of your journey, and with his magic guide you through the perils and pratfalls which await the unwary along the way."
After months of measurement and investigation around the umbriferous sarsens of Stonehenge ("hanging stones" in Saxon,) Rockford developed the revolutionary Calendrical Theory of their origin, but like other men of science before him, e.g., Newton and Darwin, he put off divulging his theory, fearful of retaliation for exposing the prevailing theory as a pratfall.
The svelte supermodel laughed, tossing her head back as she recalled her early years in Dietary Bootcamp which were anything but glamorous: "It's no fun being fined until you're skint for gustatory excess, or as I once was, punished by writing hundreds of lipograms without the letters "E," "A," and "T."
Watching the nimiety of multicolored cullet pour like a rainbow into the maw of the industrial oven, Joshua imagined the fragments transformed into an arch-shaped stained glass window depicting the Resurrection, a glorious golden sun at the cusp, below which Christ rose triumphant, a look on infinite sadness and forgiveness on his face, arms outstretched to reveal the bloodstained stigma on his palms.
Finding himself unexpectedly surrounded by a crowd, and with no other recourse, Oscar sought refuge from the ravages of his ochlophobia in a nearby coal mine where with a palpable sense of absurdity he came upon the proverbial "canary in a coal mine," a sacrificial victim the miners suspended in its cage with an iron ferrule to warn of an explosive methane build up.
When the lecturer began his worthy but somnifacient topic, ("Correlations between a deficiency of calorifacient material in the blood and the onset of Tuberculosis") Melvin felt his attention loosen, slip, and then wander freely to the idyllic mountain glade outside the walls of the institute, then move blissfully on to the brunette in the second row, and finally snap back to the lecturer with an elastic shock after a little voice inside his head admonished: "Get with it or you'll never pass muster!"
Unbeknownst to him, the innovative rabbi's ever-patient congregation began to think this time their spiritual leader expected a little too much hardihood from them as he enthusiastically sketched his unique concept for an underwater temple: "Look, the menorah will go here, and our only concern will be pulmonary edema...."
Exhibiting considerable hardihood, pluck, and imagination, the young diver recovering in his hospital bed from near-fatal pulmonary edema and other symptoms of 'the bends' described to the surrounding reporters his harrowing emergency ascent from 300 ft: "Yeah, unbeknownst (Hey, is that a word!?) to me, my regulator failed, and the last thing I remember seeing on the way up was staghorn coral like fields of menorah."
"Let me explain how the Blunderbuss Campaign is gonna work:" the NRA lobbyist said to the Conservative Congressman over cocktails in a haunt not far from Capitol Hill, "first we hire the best public relations firms we can to convince the American public--morons who suffer from no nimiety of common sense, heh, heh, heh--it's the God-given right of every man, woman, and child to pack a blunderbuss for 'self-defense;' next we pay mouthpieces like Fox, Limbaugh, and Beck to talk it up in the media, and albeit Liberals will carp, we treat them jocosely or as unpatriotic; then we cash in big time when the morons stampede to the gun stores to buy their pricey blunderbusses--brilliant, huh?"
After fighting Christmas crowds at the mall, and enduring one too many Kenny G. recordings of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, Greg retreated into a Mojito-induced hibernaculum in which he dreamed the nimiety of the season, Santa, his reindeer, the elves, and all things Nicholine disappeared from whence they came in a blessed reverse abiogenesis.
Fans of Diana, an archeress who styled herself after the mythical Goddess of the Hunt, began to lose heart when on the morning of the decisive tournament she appeared to malinger, first quibbling about the carrots in her lucky slumgullion breakfast, then about the bodkin points and fletchings on her silver arrows, the bend in her deflex bow, the weather, and generally anything within range of her abnormally acute eyesight, giving everyone the distinct impression she was "overdrawn."
The goal of charitable giving should be not merely to intersperse largesse among the poor to fill the lacunae of their immediate needs, but to target the underlying causes of their poverty, such as a lack of education and childcare, a strategy which generally, if not ineluctably, lifts them out of financial pokelogan and into the mainstream, converts them from disprized outcasts to valued members of society, and produces lasting benefic results--not just a fleeting fix.
Interspersing largesse among the poor ineluctably leads to benefic results.
Fame is fleeting, and those who are prized today may be disprized tomorrow; the niches in which their statutes once stood now empty lacunae; the palmy waters they once sailed now swampy pokelogans.
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