Quandary Resolution 2112
ontology, don't look a gift horse in the mouth, philately, horripilate
Your letter pleased me greatly, Angela, and I'm delighted that you wish to reconnect with your old philosophy prof., but I'm not fit for this correspondence: I stopped questioning the nature of existence around this time last year, not only because the devilish intricacies of the problem were causing my skin to horripilate with increasing elevation each semester, but also because I felt in the endeavor a certain sort of ingratitude (I didn't want to derogate Being by over-examining it—as they say, “don't look a gift horse in the mouth”), so I turned my attention to postage stamps, or back to them—collecting was my childhood hobby—and what a satisfying field of inquiry (How much does postage cost? Why, forty-four cents! What does it really mean to mail something? Any postman can tell you!), a field in which definite answers are attainable, a collector's progress is additive, there are no existential goosebumps to be had, the reading is light... and so Angela, that is why I've given up ontology for philately.