Quandary Resolution 491
clinquant, astraphobia, dulse, baptism of fire
"Arrrr, ho, ho, ho, pal," rumbled a rebarbative, indigent sidewalk Santa, ruddy-breasted, clinquant-clad, stupendously Brahms 'n' Liszt, obstructively and unseasonably cudgeling alms while heedlessly triggering both my astraphobia and my ineluctable r-ho-pal-icit-udina-rianis-trixity*; whereupon I felt impelled to respond in kind with a robust if ironically unfestive 'Go two, thou bawdy rascal, vamoose, rubicund ---' correctly surmising that the single transgressive homonymic makeshift might elude his lexical scrutiny; but, e'en before I had wit enow to formulate this cerebration, eftsoons he hailed me, spewing bloody imprecations (with spatterings of 'fucus') through his dulse-skeined beard, riposting with some vigour 'Wha' d' ya call me, ya piece o' shite, a ruby what?' - and in a twinking I regretted my bluff rejoinder, taking to my heels, severely and severally traumatised by his sartorial coruscation, his noxious dyspnoea, and (most of all) by my wan solecism - truly a hibernal baptism of fire and brimstone.
*rhopalicitudinarianistrismus (Ger.): rare condition - the compulsion to spin out
(Ausspinnung) stray concatenations of verbiage, asymptotically attaining
semantic torpor through alphanumeric expansion.