Among the Teams (each a Foursome) competing in the Pub Quiz in The City Bar that night, was, of course, as has already been intimated, The Blue Jocks (DI Bruce Bruse, DI Gordon and Sergeant Goldy Brevity and Professor Carolina Moonbeam); The Revenue (Traci MacGillivray, Annabelle and Jeremy MacGillivray and Piers Galveston); The Justices of the Pease (Lord Jock Linkumdoddie, Lord Alexander Samarkand, Hamish MacAlpine Fandango QC and Lady Marion Boyars-Romanov); O'Hooligans' Rool (Bunty and Dixie O'Hooligan, Angus Og of The Bog – looking rather gargoylesque with his two black eyes, broken nose and his head still swathed in a Turban of white bandages – and in place of Bernie Westwater, a substitute, Felix Rosenstiel); The Scribes (Roxie and Trixie Davidova, Jinty Moncrief and Elvira Dumbiedykes); The Fantastic Four (Tuffy Ladywood, Grizzel Baillie, Cecilia Connaught and Lettice Pumpherston); Mrs Worthington's Daughters (Georgie and Corky Corcoran, Felicity Dalwhinnie and Rosebud Lippschtix); The Castaways (Daphne Dumbiedykes, Maude Lyttleton, Jubbly Johanssen and Isadora Kuwschinski) The Golf Caddies (Ello, Ullo, Cristal and Conchita Caddy) and Lulu's Girl Gang (Lulu McMuckle, Dora and Nora McMuchty and Eunice Murdoch); and a late entry, The Press Gang (Tavish Dalwhinnie, Tammy Shanter, Montmorency Glencoe and Tarquin MacWhirter) – with these, and perhaps another two teams I've forgotten to note, together with scores of highly partisan and extremely vocal supporters (though there was not one single incident of a supporting spectator calling out an answer) The City Bar was stretched way beyond the limits of its normal capacity and the rooms upstairs were requisitioned, and further space acquired by redistributing barrels and cases in the cellar (to which no team even tangentially connected with the Law or Taxation was located) and the bar and waiting staff were fair run off their feet, while the Quiz Inquisitor for the night, Miss Sammy Linger, not one to feel either intimidated or beleaguered by such a polite mob, on finding that the speaker system was only working above and below the Bar, fairly bawled out the Questions – beginning with “for what medical reason might someone considerately bring home 'thebacon'” - which went some way towards her being identified as the only daughter of Samson Linger, a former Town Crier of Leith, whose statue still stands at the bottom of Leith Walk, welcoming travellers to the ancient seaport (or turning his back on it, according to some local wags, who have stuck a traffic cone atop his head); the adjudicators, Riddle Rankine and Kenny Cramond, who quickly and deftly checked the completed answer sheets and calculated the scores, both fell down the stairs while returning to the Bar-room with the results and, in the confusion surrounding the arrival of an ambulance and their being swiftly and safely transported to A&E at the Royal Infirmary, all of the sheets went missing, the contest was declared a Draw, every Team won a bottle of 25-year-old Invercockieleekie Single Malt and the evening was described as an unmitigated disaster by Tavish Dalwhinnie writing in the next morning's Scotsman – an opinion which had to be withdrawn and a fulsome apology printed when it was shown the 1) although he had been there, 2) his copy had been delivered at 6.00 in the evening, before he arrived at The City Bat, 3) he arrived a full hour before the first Question was asked, 4) therefore long before any verdict could be considered, let alone given, 5) the missing papers were found later taped under the table at which The Press Gang had been seated; and 6) The Press Gang were found to have the lowest score of the competition; and . . . . . . . . oh, yes – as this writer, having been present at the discovery of the marked and tallied sheets and therefore an earwitness to their being read LOUDLY by the articulate Miss Linger, to all and sundry in the vicinity – the Official Result was: a Victory by One Point for Lulu's Girl Gang, ahead of The Economic Migrants!