Last night I composed this little ditty for yesterday's entry but was so exhausted when I finished, after getting home late home from the pub, that I passed out without submitting it, so I here offer it as a preamble to today's which should contain further explanation but sadly, for reasons which will becvome apparent, does not: ahem,
Sir Parlane MacFarlane's henchman,
Spreads dissensus wherever he goes,
Tantivy from each ane tae t'ither,
Bon Mots dripping like snot from his nose!
The man's an incorrigible liar,
Who can believe what he says?
The gullible swallow it wholesale,
While the cynics can hold off for days!
But he twists arms and ears of his cronies,
He shafts all who stand in his way,
For he's the Deputy Chief of Police,
And his name is Sir Duncan Doubleday!
now, I haven't mentioned The Justice League of Auld Reekie for many a long week, though we still meet regularly in The Jinglin' Geordie, in Fleshmarket Close, as, indeed, we did, last night, it being, as it was, the fourth Sunday of the Month, the 25th of September, hereinafter referred to as last night and I. for my sins, which are, indeed, many, and various, am, as you might, justly, infer, from what I have just wrote, the Secretary and Minute Taker, voluntary – I receive no honorarium what-so-ever – I might add (I did) and the meeting was called to Order, Order, by Lord Jock Linkumdoddie of the Supreme Court – Sederunt: Lord Linkumdoddie, Lady Marion Boyars-Romanov in a grey lambswool dolman, Kenny Cramond who's a bit of a poodle-faker and hangs on Lady Boyars-Romanov's every word, Felix Rosenstiel, who is really nice, so there isn't much to add about him, the O'Hooligan Twins wearing that unusual and distinctive heathery scent which is peculiar to them in the whole of Edinburgh, and Riddle Rankine (Chief Clerk to Martin Elginbrod – a WS if I ever saw one – Solicitor of this town) who informed the meeting that . . . . . unfortunately, I spilt some malt whisky over my notes when I sneezed involuntarily and several lines are indecipherable, but I will resume from what remains legible: 'Lord Linkumdoddie thanked Mr Rankine who was then obliged to leave the meeting abruptly as he needs must hasten haimish sharpish, to change his baby's nappy; next meeting same time same place next Sunday the 2nd of October and all members are advised to wrap up warm as a cold snap has been predicted.