"Huv Ah got news for you'se yins?" asked Hamish MacDonald, grinning broadly and rubbing his hands together: "well, the answer is Ah Huv! nae mair prowlin the streets for yer pleesures, nae mair spending days n weeks gainin their trust and spending dosh on sweeties and booze; ye kin hae wha'eever ye want, served up on a bed o roses! bleeve me, pals, this is nae chimera, it's the very dab!" and Sir Parlane MacFarlane scowled: "what are you on about man? stop talking this gallus gibberish. tell us straight!" and the former Reichsmarschall, who had always prided himself on his linguistic capabilities and had taken great pains to learn the local patois, thinking it better for his disguise to be identified as a Local rather than an Incomer; his new chums were a strange bunch but he thought it would be better to humour them: "okey dokey – have you ever come across the Good Shepherd's Society?" and when they others looked questioningly at him he began: "well it was set up by a Victorian Philanthropist, Dr Gilbert Shepherd, to do two things; the First was to provide care and support for 'Fallen Girls and Women' during their confinements, Protestant Girls and Women, because the Catholics were already spoken for by the Magdalene Sisters – there's one up Maryhill Road – but there was never anything similar for the Prods; so the good Doctor Shepherd filled a gap there; but secondly, he opened Homes for poor and disadvantaged Boys and Girls who didn't have homes of their own with parents to look after them, and each of Shepherd's Homes has six children, three boys and three girls, with a House Mother and a House Father and a couple of servants to do the cooking and the cleaning, and in each town and it's environs – some of these houses are in the country – there are five Homes called a Cluster, but spread out, and each Cluster has a Management Board of Five Uncles and Five Aunts who regularly visit the Homes, check on the House Parents and staff – make sure they're not purloining the silver – spend time with the children and take them out; look, here's a Rebus storyboard," and he pulled a sheet from his pocket, which showed in simple pictures and letters, a man taking a girl to a park and sitting her on his knee, "pure dead slacktivism," he tapped the sheet with a bodkin, "small effort reaps big rewards – and the Aunts are every bit as committed as the Uncles – in fact some of them are as interested in grown men as they are in growing boys," and he casts a look at Sir Parlane and Elginbrod, for he knows that their interests, like his own, are more catholic than Cowcaddens and Doubleday, "and there just happens to be a vacancy in Milngavie for Five Uncles without which the organisation will atrophy and some of their homes have rather luscious inmates" and he looked expectantly around the room; it was Doubleday who asked the obvious question: "what happened to the other Five Uncles?" and MacDonald beamed: "it was a tragic accident! very sad! they'd been over The Rest and Be Thankful to check out a Holiday Home in Tighnabruaich to take for the Summer, each of their Homes would have a week there, with the Aunts and Uncles in charge, but on the way back the car left the road and tumbled down into the gorge, burst into flames, terrible tragedy, no survivors, no other vehicles involved, probably the driver was a bit under the weather or one over the eight and not concentrating, and of course maybe there were faulty brakes!" and in the silence that followed, it was Elginbrod who spoke next: "when did this accident happen?" and MacDonald looked at his watch, then said: "in fifteen minutes time!"