Tomorrow we're aw gaun away,
Fur wir Summer Hodilay:
Ma Cousins an ma Aunties tae -
"And don't forget yer knickers, pray!"
Jock Tamson's Bairns gang Doon the Watter,
Cairryin cases an their Glesca Patter,
Wearin Bunnets like sum richt Mad Hatter,
Whiles weans gaun paddlin till their wee teeth chatter!
Uncle Chas tise a hankie ower his baldy heid,
We bury each ither in the sand, kid oan oor deid,
Tie string aroon crabs, say they're oan the lead,
An girn till the grown-ups produce the bags o feed!
We dinnae need Lysergic Electric Soup,
Irn Bru staves aff the worstest childish Croup,
Only auld Biddies stey at hame an droop,
Summertime's here, oor gaunie Loop the Loop!
You may grow Peperomia,
Revel in encomia,
Consider Trump Prostomia,
But beware Enantiodromia!
The best thing aboot oor wee B&B,
Is it husnae goat a single workin TV,
Ne HiFi, WiFi, SciFi in the hoose,
So we hae tae amuse wirsels by plyin Fast an Loose!
Boaxes o Monopoly, Scrabble, BlockBuster,
"Kin a hae a Pee, Boab?" "Mind ye'r langwidge, Suster!"
So Ah'll nae mair be able tae do,
Marathon Sentences on the auld QQ,
So fer the week am awa, it's "Goodbye, from Me,"
"An Goodbye, from Her, on the Strict QT!"
If ye'd like tae hear the Real Glasgow Rap,
Written an performed by that Diamond Chap,
Johnnie Beattie, he's the Real Deal Dude,
An ye kin find him daein it oan yer ain YouTube!