And, as it happens, it was just at that self-same moment – not in 1939, of course, but today – that Mr Scratch strolled into The Hispaniola Piano Bar and caught sight of Timothy Michaelmas-Daisy sitting by himsel, a glass of Laphraoigh in one hand and another, of Aka-Seltzer in the other; pulling out the chair opposite Tim, Scratch sat down: "a touch of the bastard strangles, Tim? is that why I didn't read of you holding your seat in the General Election? or have you been angling for goliath batfish in the Caribbean?" and Tim raised his bloodshot eyes in a baleful attempt at a glare, then shook his head: "you know fine well, Mr Scratch, that after Boffer had me expelled I couldn't stand as a Conservative, not tractable enough for his new UNITED party; oh, I applied to the Lib-Dems, but they said I wasn't Liberal or Democratic enough for them, Labour told me I was more of an Anarcho-Syndicalist and even Jeremy couldn't thole that in the Party; the Greens turned me down for driving a diesel; the SNP found out that my great-great-great-great grandpa, Sir Hamish Urquhart-Colquhoun was a thoroughly nasty type of landowner who evicted all his tenants and replaced them with sheep and they couldn't possibly have someone from such a family representing them; mother suggested one of the Northern Ireland parties, cause Seamus Colquhoun was a well-known poet and songwriter, but the DUP told me they suspected he'd been in the IRA and Sinn Fein said he'd collaborated with the Black-and-Tans; even Plaid Cymru weren't interested because I don't speak Welsh and haven't set foot in the place since a school trip to Shropshire and the Border Country when I was about 13 and anyway, my mother's cousin, another poet and balladeer, Rhoddri Bangour, apparently stole most of his material from Dylan Thomas when Thomas was drunk; Mebyon Kernow said they'd think about it, but, in the end, didn't think it was a good idea to have a Londoner like me standing for Cornish Nationalism, especially when I'm gay – which hadn't put any of the others off!" and Scratch nodded: "so far as you know," and Tim said: "exactly, none of them mentioned it in their rejections," so Scratch asked if he couldn't have stood as an Independent and Tim actually laughed: "oh, I may look a bit soft, but I'm not that stupid!"