Quadrivial Quandary:  Logophiles, Rejoice!  Each day we give you four unusual words.  Can you fit them all in one illustrative sentence?
Quandary Resolution 8315
certes, bounden, hirsute, Johnny Appleseed, n.

Blind Harry cocked his head at the commotion and put out a hand to tell wee Padraig Macaroon o Minestrone to pause; Padraig was the sixth boy about to attempt to pull The Lochlann's Battle Axe from the rock into which it had been struck while delivering the cleaving coo de grass to Sir Parlane MacFarlane – Erchie Ecclefechan, Alasdair MacCaroon, Tam Sneddon, Boabie MacConkey and Humphrey MacAugustine-MacAmpersand o The Muckle Flugga had already tried and failed to so much as ease it a hair's breadth, while Gibby Lonnegan and Nicol Nicol o Nicol still waited their turn: "whit in the name o the Wee Maun wis thon?" – he asked in the deathly hush that followed, and it was Tam who spoke: "twa beasties cam doon fae the sky, Harry," and the Poet then stated confidently: "am bounden they're gey hirsute then, tis definately certes they'se be muckle black apes fae Affrickay, aye, Tam?" but Tam stuttered: "naw, Harry, white an kindo smooth, jist pickle o hair abune they'se heids!" which made Harry snort: "then it's surely a pair o young Johnny Aipleseed loons fae the Land o the Settin Sun, fer ower awa tae the West, they blaws in fae time tae time, on hurricaneals an hooly cyclones Tam, huv they brode freckled faces an wee snubbed-up nebs? ye can aye tell a Aipleseed, ma chiels," but Tam, emboldened, explained: "nah, nah, Harry, they'se nah loons, therr baith quines an awfy kind o auld, ye ken, mair'n 30 iffen they'se a day!"

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